Two Men Walk Into a Bar (At Christmastime) by Katy Regnery Read Free Book Online Page B

.”
    “And what?” asked Zach, turning toward Asher and leaning his elbow on the bar.
    “She wanted an interview.” Asher sighed, meeting the other man’s eyes. “I looked worse than this, if you can believe it.”
    Zach grimaced, his eyes sorry. “I didn’t want to ask.”
    “I was in Afghanistan. An IED,” said Asher. “First time I met her, well, by that time, I’d had a lot of surgeries, but I guess I’d, well, I’d sort of given up.”
    “On the surgeries?”
    “On everything. On more surgeries. On life. On friends. On meeting people.” Asher scoffed softly, unable, even after all these years, to keep traces of bitterness from his voice. “When you look like a monster, when you scare children, well, it’s easy to give up.”
    “So what happened?” asked Zach.
    “Savannah Calhoun Carmichael happened. I hadn’t seen a woman that pretty in years. Not up close. And I couldn’t turn down the chance to see her again. So I said yes to the interview, and she started showin’ up three times a week.”
    “And you fell for each other,” said Zach, clinking Asher’s glass.
    Asher took another long sip, remembering a picnic in the grove . . . the movie Shag in her backyard . . . watching her drive his car through the Virginia countryside . . . the way her soft lips felt underneath his the first time . . . the way they fit together when he slid inside her body. His heart thrummed behind his ribs. What’re you wearing? Nothing.
    “Something like that.” He set his glass gingerly on the counter, adjusting his pants a little and determined to change the subject, lest he embarrass himself. “How about you and . . . Vile? And how the hell do you get away with calling her that?”
    Zach Aubrey finished off his drink and gestured for another, but Asher reached over, placing his bionic hand over Zach’s. “My turn to buy the drinks.” He nodded to the waitress and asked for two bourbons, neat, turning back to Zach as she hustled away.
    “So?”
    “The story of me and Vile,” said Zach, rubbing his thumb over his lower lip thoughtfully, “starts at Yale . . .”
    ***
    Zach had been a skinny, pasty little shit who barely knew what it felt like to have a friend. And Violet, with her wild hair and huge tits, had walked into his dorm room, into his life— into his heart —like a sanctioned act of God.
    To Zach’s great surprise, and pleasure, his new friend, Asher, listened with a quiet fascination, groaning when Zach confessed that he’d been unable to return Violet’s heartbreaking I love you , and nodding in understanding when Zach explained how meeting her again nine years later had felt like fate.
    “The poetess and the heavy rocker, huh? Did you ever win her over to your taste in music?” asked Asher.
    Zach laughed heartily. “Fuck no. No, man. Not even a little. The first time I took her to a concert? Whew. I honestly got scared it was over for us.”
    “But it wasn’t.”
    “No, thank Christ. I couldn’t let her get away again,” said Zach, sipping his second Scotch while Asher nursed a second bourbon. “I think I would have done whatever I had to, you know? To make her stay. Luckily, a hurricane took the decision out of our hands.”
    “So she was forced to stay.”
    “Yeah,” said Zach, nodding. “Something like that. It’s weird. In the end, I actually left her.”
    “What?”
    Zach nodded, wincing as he remembered her face when he’d said, I’m standing in front of you, telling you I love you, telling you that I will love you, no matter what, until I die. But I’m also telling you that if you aren’t all in, Vile, this won’t work. I need all of you. Sorry that I’m such a greedy bastard, but I’m not Shep Smalley, and I can’t be with you if your heart doesn’t totally belong to me.
    “You have to understand,” said Zach. “I was all in. All in . I knew she was what I wanted forever, but she wasn’t ready for us. She had some things to sort out.”
    Like her