I gave you the information as a friend, trying to protect you.” His eyes changed from hurt to pleading.
I took a sip of the hot coffee, needing the jolt of energy. I walked toward my table, leaving him standing at the creamer station, and I sat down. He followed, taking the free seat in front of me.
“I don’t mean to be rude, Eric, but I have to eat and I’d rather eat alone.” I started to unveil my sandwich from the wrapper. He put his hand over mine, stopping me from retrieving my sandwich. I sighed and took a deep breath. “Do you mind?” I glanced at his hand and then looked sternly at him. He pulled his hand away. I pulled out my sandwich and took a bite, chewed and then took a sip of my coffee. He remained seated and watched me as I ate. In my famished state, I didn’t complain because I was thinking of only myself.
When I finished half the sandwich, he started speaking again. “I will admit I’m extremely attracted to you. I’ve never pretended otherwise, but I didn’t give you the information to destroy your relationship with Dr. Keene. I just wanted you to connect the dots so you’d be informed because he obviously didn’t let you decide for yourself.”
“Eric, honestly, what did you expect would happen when you gave me the information? What do you get out of it?” I asked, invoking Carson’s attitude. I took a sip, never removing my gaze from his.
He swallowed. “To protect you from being further hurt by the people who own Pentagon. I don’t know Dr. Keene’s intentions, but he wasn’t going to tell you. It wasn’t fair. If he loves you, he should be protecting you and not using you.” The appreciation, anger and hurt were colliding in my chest.
“You don’t really know me. We haven’t spent any time together. We don’t know each other’s quirks and eccentricities, wants and needs, and do’s and don’ts. I can’t really categorize you as a friend. I can only say you’re an acquaintance. I don’t pretend I’m every man’s fantasy, but if you told me confidential company information expecting an easy fuck in return, you’re sorely mistaken.” I said calmly and evenly. He was shocked by my words and was literally taken aback, reclining in his chair. His cheeks flushed pink and he bit his lip and shook his head.
“It was never my intention. I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t fuck you if I had a chance. You’re a gorgeous, vivacious woman, and up until this point you were very kind. I would never patronize you by putting the moves on you when you’re vulnerable. I like to think I’m a good man. I also like to think I’m a good friend which is all I was trying to be for you. I can tell you’re okay because the venom you just spouted at me doesn’t come from a wilting flower. Take care and good luck.” He stood up and walked out without ordering his coffee.
A gigantic lump formed in my throat. I felt a twinge of guilt for my approach. I tried really hard to be cautious with my words, eliciting a discussion, and not an argument. However, I needed him to be gone, distancing him from my present and future life. I lost my appetite for the other half of the sandwich, so I wrapped it up and tucked it in my tote. I slung the tote over my shoulder. I gripped the book in one hand and my latte in the other. I’d hoped to have a quiet little meal with a good book, but it was taken away from me. What I would’ve given to be transported to a South Pacific island in the moment, away from the drama, and men. I could’ve used some time on the sand and surf. I planned to call Carson and convince him I needed some time on the beach. He’d drive us to Rhode Island and go to one of the many beaches he grew up playing on.
I caught the train and then the bus, reading on each. My mind would wander to thoughts of Matt. Not wanting to bring attention to myself by crying, I would squash it by thinking about my plans for the future. The tears threatened to burst while I walked from
Krista Lakes, Mel Finefrock
The Sands of Sakkara (html)