Undead and Unemployed by MaryJanice Davidson Read Free Book Online Page B

can."
    "Oh, now, surely you're not still reticent about—"
    "Want to come with?" I asked abruptly, to forestall the lecture. Tina and Sinclair thought it was exquisitely stupid that I hadn't embraced my inner vampire. "I'm checking out the new house Jess picked out for us."
    "You're moving?" Monique asked as I locked my house and trotted toward the car.
    "Have to. Termites. And I would appreciate it if that little piece of info didn't fall into Sinclair's shell-like ears," I told Tina. "It's none of his damned business."
    "Of course, Majesty."
    "Quit it."
    "Of course, Majesty."
    "I hate you," I sighed, opening the door for Monique.
    "No you don't," Tina replied, barely suppressed laughter in her tone, "Majesty."

Chapter 7
    « ^ »
    "Goodness!" Monique said.
    "Wow," Tina said respectfully.
    I slumped so hard against the steering wheel, my head activated the horn for a brief honk.
    I should have known. I should have known! Summit Avenue was one of the oldest streets in St. Paul. It was absolutely packed with mansions. And 607 Summit Avenue was a doozy. White, except for black shutters. Three floors. An amazing front porch right out of
Gone with the Wind
. And the detached garage was as big as my current house.
    "Dammit, dammit." I climbed out of the car, and Monique and Tina scrambled after me.
    "Just how much money does Jessica have?" Tina asked in awe. It was taking forever to get to the door via the front walk.
    "Too much." I was stomping so hard, I could actually feel my heels leaving marks in the concrete. I eased up. Damn sidewalk was probably five hundred years old. "Way too much."
    "I think it's perfect. It suits your rank much better than—"
    "Stop." I pounded on the front door, then opened it and crept in, instantly intimidated.
    It was worse than I feared. The first thing I saw was the sweeping staircase, eight feet wide, shined to a high gloss, and winding up out of sight. The front hall was as big as my living room. The place smelled like wood and wax, cleaning supplies and old, old carpet.
    "Jessica!" I yelled.
Ick-uh, ick-uh, ick-uh
echoed up and down the hall.
    "You're going to live here?" Monique asked, goggling.
    "Shit, no. Jessica!"
Ick-uh! Ick-uh! Ick-uh
!
    She and Marc appeared at the top of the stairs, and galloped down to us. "Finally! You're late. What do you think?" she said. "Isn't it grand?"
    "Wait'll you see the dining room table," Marc added. "It has seventeen leaves!"
    "Jessica, it's too big. There's three of us, remember? How many bedrooms does this place have?"
    "Eleven," she admitted. "But that way we don't have to worry about where to put up guests."
    "And, we all get our own bathroom," Marc added.
    "And probably your own kitchen!" Tina said, eyes gone huge as she stared at the castle Jessica had bought with the money she'd found in her car seat cushions.
    Sensing my mood (not a great trick), Jessica said sternly, "Oh, come on. Open your mind. It's big, but it's just a house."
    "The governor's mansion is across the street!" I yelled.
    "Just look around," Marc coaxed. "You'll like it."
    "You guys…" I heard myself getting shrill and forced my voice into the lower registers. They'd probably worked hard, and the place had cost her a bundle. The closing costs alone had probably been six figures. It made me uncomfortable as hell, but I didn't want to come off as an ungrateful jerk. "It's not a question of liking, okay? I mean, I can see it's amazing and gorgeous and stuff."
    "Thank goodness," Marc said.
    "It's beautiful, okay? There's nothing wrong with it. But it's a question of affordability and practicality. Come on, how much is it?"
    "Well, we're renting it for now, until they track down the owner."
    "Jessica…"
    "Three thousand a week," she admitted.
    I nearly fainted. "The money from my house won't even cover a year's rent!"
    "So you
can
do math in your head," Marc teased. "I was wondering."
    "Have you lost your mind?"
    "Which one of us are you talking to?"
    "Look, this is way more in