Under My Skin by Sommer Marsden Read Free Book Online Page B

with you by my side, and the love of my life near me, too, then…well, what the hell do I have to complain about?”
    My throat grew tight. I nodded, trying to blink away tears that didn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things. Because the tears were mine , not Lanie's.
    “Now why are you crying?” he asked, stroking my hair. “Because of Lanie in there?”
    I shook my head, and tears rolled down my cheeks. “No,” I managed, though my throat felt so tight. Tight enough that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “They’re my tears. I think just because—” A sob tore out of me, cut off my words.
    “Because what?” He hooked a finger below my chin and tilted my head a bit so I had to look at him.
    “Because this world needs more souls like you, not less.”
    He kissed my forehead.
    Another sob ripped out of me with the words, “May I take a shower?” riding on them.
    “Sure,” he laughed. “Through my bedroom is the private bathroom. Or you can use the one in the hall. There are towels under the sink in both rooms.
    I nodded. I went with his room, it made me feel safer. I grabbed a big heavy navy blue towel and turned the shower on as hot as I could. My skin erupted in goose bumps before calming under the heated water. I washed my hair slowly, trying to calm the waves of sadness and anxiety. It simply didn’t seem fair.
    It’s not... Lanie echoed in my head. And then she asked me for something I’d never done. She asked me to step aside. Just for the night.

Chapter Eight
     
    I’d never done it. I’d never let a spirit hop onboard for longer than a few minutes. But again, something seated in my soul guided me to do it. So I decided to give it a shot. Stepping aside would be like putting myself to sleep to let the spirit become dominant. No awareness—or very little—is maintained during that time. Only one fellow medium I know of had ever done it, and she’d been relieved when it was over. But she’d not been doing it for so noble a cause. I trusted Lanie and Elijah, and apparently I trusted them enough to put my life and awareness in their hands.
    I finished my shower and towel dried my hair. I pulled on little drawstring pants and a lightweight black sweater. I sat on his bed and ran my hands over the bedding for a few minutes, the smooth cotton soothing my racing heart. It was a leap of faith, and I’d already made up my mind, but nerves are nerves. They need to run their course.
    “You okay?” he asked from the doorway.
    “Fine. Just…” I took a deep breath, blew it out to show him. “Finding my Zen.”
    Elijah smiled. “I have to do that on a daily basis,” he confessed.
    I patted the bed, and he came to sit next to me. “I want you to know, I was utterly okay with having her in me. I want you to know…I think you are amazing. And kind. You have a good soul. I can see it and feel it when I’m close to you. But most importantly, I want you to know that I enjoyed the um…sex,” I laughed, blushing, “just as much as you. Just as much as Lanie.”
    “You sound like you’re going somewhere,” he said. “I thought you guys were going to party with me on my way out.” He grinned to show he was joking about the partying.
    “I’m not going anywhere. Physically.” I touched his leg, his arm, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him once. “I’m just stepping back,” I said.
    And then I did. I surrendered to her like a woman falling backward off a diving board into a deep, cool pool. I caught the flicker of recognition on his face when her voice spoke through me and the joy in his eyes at hearing her. And then I was gone, asleep, under in a muddy sea of nothingness while they had their night.
    * * * *
    I was thrashing. My body tumbling and turning, painful impacts rattled my neck and shoulders and back. hovered at the top of the ancient basement steps. His murky eyes intense, his grim face almost joyful. He watched me fall and whispered, “Four…”
    My fate if I didn’t