sceptical that her annoyance increased.
'Haven't you ever been in love, Matt?' she asked.
'How do you define love?'
'As respect and trust. Desire too, of course.'
'I had respect for a woman once,' he said.
'If it's left you feeling so bitter you must have loved her very much.'
'Enough to marry her.'
The reply was so unexpected, it was difficult to keep the shock out of her face. Yet what she felt was more than shock; it was bitter disappointment too.
'I didn't realise you were married.'
'Was,' he corrected. 'I've been divorced for thirteen years.'
'I'm sorry,' she said softly, and tried to hide her relief.
'I'm not,' he retorted. 'She was a scheming bitch!'
His voice was hard and Caroline could see he was angry. Not wanting to arouse his memories by questioning him further, she remained silent, although she longed to hear the whole story.
'Thanks for controlling your curiosity,' he said unexpectedly. 'But I'll willingly answer any questions.'
'Does it still hurt you to speak about her?'
'No. But I won't let myself get hurt again.' He took out a cheroot, lit it and dragged at it hungrily. 'When I think what a fool I was...'
'You were young,' Caroline placated.
'I was more than young, I was naive and idealistic. I was twenty-two when I met Sarah. It was at a party given by Harold Maitland, my boss. I was flattered as hell to be invited. For a boy from the slums of Bradford this was really living, and when Sarah started to chat me up, I couldn't believe my luck. She was the prettiest girl in the room and she made it clear that she fancied me.' He stopped momentarily and pulled at his cheroot. 'Six weeks later I asked her to marry me, and I couldn't believe it when she said yes. What was more surprising was the way her family welcomed me, though a few days after we were married I learned the reason why.'
He paused again as though he found it difficult to carry on, and Caroline was sure he was reliving the hurt of his past. A hurt that was still close to him, no matter what he said to the contrary.
'Sarah told me she was three months pregnant,' he said flatly, 'and she didn't even know whose child it was!'
'You mean '
'That she was anybody's for the asking! All her friends and family knew it, that's why she picked me out!'
'Why hadn't she had an abortion? With money— even in those days—it would have been possible.'
'Because of her religion. Her conscience wouldn't allow it—though it didn't stop her making a damn fool of me!'
'What did you do?' Caroline asked.
'Left her to spend her honeymoon alone,' he stated matter-of-factly. 'Sarah never believed I could do it. Her father was a close friend of Harold Maitland and she was certain I wouldn't want to jeopardise my career. That was her first mistake. Her second one was trying to pretend I was the father of her child.' He stopped for a moment, his face taking on a haunted look. 'I spent every penny I'd saved to. get the best divorce lawyer I could. Her name was dirt when I got through with her, and she learned that no one plays me for a fool and gets away with it.'
Caroline did not like the raw hatred in his voice, although she could understand it. It reminded her of the ruthlessness in him which, hidden by charm when he was with her, none the less lay just below the surface.
'It all happened a long time ago,' she murmured. 'You shouldn't let it sour the rest of your life.'
'I haven't. But I refuse to be taken in by innocence again.'
'I'm not trying to take you in, Matt,' Caroline said bluntly. 'And the way I feel about certain things is not an act. If you don't believe me, we shouldn't see each other any more.'
'Of course I believe you. But I also believe I can make you change your mind. You've led the life of a nun for so long that you've got into the habit!' He paused. 'I'd like you to come down to the country with me for the weekend if you're free. Don't worry,' he reassured her, 'we'll be well chaperoned by Helen and Mark,'
Caroline hesitated.