shift,” Marcus said, removing his vinyl gloves and apron.
“Sure thing. Thanks for your help today. Grab a couple of those flank steaks for dinner. They didn’t sell well this week.”
“Yep.”
Marcus couldn’t leap up the steps like he usually did, but he went up with a thank-you wave anyway.
He went straight for the grill and got his supper ready, still hoping he had a job to go back to. He hadn’t been fired yet; no one had called. That at least was promising. His real hope, no matter how hard he tried to suppress the excitement, was that Erin Connor would write to him, and leave him a clear sign that she would allow him back into her journal. Maybe after a while they could even meet.
He really wished he wasn’t having those thoughts. He really didn’t want to be disappointed. But still, he pictured her little “HOPE” charm and thought the word was appropriate for himself. He could hope, too…hope for a connection with her.
After he saw her eyes in that picture, and saw through her writing she had some common cores with him, he became acutely aware that he was alone. He felt like he could potentially be close with her and he wanted to be more than he could admit.
“Focus,” he said to himself out loud in his apartment. Eat your dinner, set your alarm, sleep. Get ready for work, and just do your job. Check cubicle 15, and be ready to find nothing. That became his mantra for the next several hours, right up until he arrived at the high-rise downtown. Then his mental monologue became: check cubicle 15, be ready to find nothing. Deep breath. Check cubicle 15…
For the first time ever, Erin couldn’t wait to get to work on Monday. By the end of her weekend, she was feeling positively elated. She ran errands, exercised, relaxed, and found joy in each of those things. She realized during those two days away from work something substantial: this new Erin was simply the true Erin.
All the warmth and excitement rushed into her so easily because it was already there! Most of her life was this way, with the exception of the last few years. She felt so hollow only because she had been pushing her joy down along with all the bad feelings. The sense of confidence, no matter how small, found an easy home in her heart. Erin was certain that if she remained focused on keeping herself open, this fullness would take root and stay.
Already she understood more of herself with the help of M. She was so ready to get back to work and leave that notebook on her desk for him. The hardest part of her entire weekend had been trying not to write anymore.
She went through her workday like always with the exception of her lightened mood. She still went to lunch by herself and enjoyed some new flavors, even though she didn’t have her notebook with her as a companion. Instead, she thought more about the mysterious M and what he may write to her in return.
She really wanted to hear his story, not just to even the score, either. She was genuinely interested in how he clawed his way out of his dark time. That was an important thing, she understood. Not everyone experiences that kind of triumph. Erin really wanted to hear how he managed the task.
By the time six o’clock rolled around, Erin couldn’t stay at work any longer. She arranged her desk so there was a clear spot in the back corner of her cubicle. She didn’t want just anyone to happen by and pick up the book. She couldn’t display it front and center. She knew M would be looking, so barely-hidden in the corner was the perfect spot. She propped the book up at an angle against her stapler and stuck a post-it note on the cover.
M~ I left this here for you. ~E
She knew he would understand the permission slip to read more. She smirked at herself. He wanted more of her story, but he was only getting a request for his. She couldn’t wait to see what he would write. She hoped his story would be waiting for her in the morning, but who knows? He may