Unspeakable Truths by Alice Montalvo-Tribue Read Free Book Online Page A

book and begin to read the words on the page, never really taking any of them in, all the while silently praying for strength to break free from this pit I’m in. What I wouldn’t give to find the girl who I used to be.

 
    It’s Sunday night and I’m lying on my couch watching the latest mind numbing reality TV sensation when I’m startled by the sound of the doorbell. My whole body tenses when I see Luca standing on the other side of the door.
    “Hi Ev,” he greets, hands in the pockets of his worn out jeans.
    “What are you doing here?” I reply in a frostier tone than I intended.
    “Can I come in?”
    He looks unsure of himself, wary of my reaction toward him, but at the same time a little bit menacing. Luca is hot in every sense of the word, and if I didn’t hate him so much I might actually get flustered by having him around. His dark hair is the perfect contrast to his green eyes, and his perfect features set him apart. I’m pretty sure he could have just about any girl that he wants. He’s got to be at least six-foot-one, and it’s clear even through his clothes that he’s muscular, even more so than Tyler was. If he wasn’t such an ass, he’d be beautiful. He tilts his head staring at me; he’s probably expecting me to slam the door in his face. Part of me wants to, but part of me is curious to know what he’s doing here. After what went down last time he was here with how I kicked him out after he’d helped me for a second time, I’m stunned that he’d even attempt to set foot on my property again. I guess he doesn’t understand the concept of not being welcome. I hesitate for a moment before stepping out of the way allowing him entry. I close the front door and turn to face him.
    “How are you?” he asks, trying to gage my mood.
    “Did you really come back here to ask me how I am?”
    “I came here because…”
    “Because what?” I can’t help but to be short with him. It’s not just him, it’s everyone, I hate how they all tiptoe around me as if though I might just have a psychotic break at any given moment. Well… Trust me, if I haven’t lost my goddamn mind yet I’m not going to. I prefer drowning my sorrows in solitude, not random acts of craziness.
    “I think we need to clear the air. I think we need to talk about what happened.”
    “I know what happened how could I ever forget? Talking about it doesn’t help. It doesn’t change anything, and if I were going to talk about it, you would be the last person I’d talk about it with.”
    “I think we both need the closure, I know I do and there are things that you just don’t understand.”
    My voice drips with disdain. “You’re not looking for closure, you’re looking for forgiveness.”
    “Fuck forgiveness! I don’t need your forgiveness or anyone else’s for that matter. What I need is for you to understand, for you to see that I would never do anything to hurt Tyler.”
    He’s practically yelling at me now, and fuck my life, but I didn’t sign up for this shit. Hashing out the past is not on my list of things to do, not even close. I shrug my shoulders in defeat.
    “Yeah, but you did! I get it, I understand that you didn’t set out to hurt him, that you didn’t directly hurt him, but your actions led to…” I sigh, unable to finish the thought, unable to continue with this draining conversation. I can’t escape the past, no matter what I do, I can’t hide from it. I can’t seem to get away from any of it.
    Luca runs his hand through his hair and averts his gaze. “I miss him too you know?” he says with a sigh.
    “Don’t,” I warn. I don’t want to hear about how much Luca misses Tyler. I don’t need to hear about how we share the same grief, bond over the same pain, like we should be closer because of it.
    What it really boils down to is the fact that he thinks I hate him and that I’m blaming him unfairly for Tyler’s death. Maybe it is unfair, but the past few years of my life have been