Until You're Mine by Samantha Hayes Read Free Book Online

God.

5
    THE HOUSE IS quiet. The breakfast things are still on the table and the smell of coffee, children and love pervades. My stomach churns from it all. I gather the crockery and tentatively load the dishwasher. Is this my job, I wonder? Claudia said the cleaner comes when she feels like it but as long as she does her ten hours a week, no one cares how or when the house gets cleaned. Her name is Jan, apparently. I wonder if we will get on, if she will get in my way. I make a mental note to get chatty with her, find out when she’s likely to be in the house. I don’t want anything going wrong.
    ‘I’m just off out then.’
    I turn suddenly. I’d forgotten James was still here. He looks awkward in his own house. Earlier, Claudia told me he was in his study catching up on paperwork. I managed to poke my head round the door, take a sneaky peek when he stepped out for a moment. The room has a big leather-topped desk and bookshelves all around. It’s decorated with nautical items – pictures of ships, photographs of uniformed men, certificates in frames on the wall, and a white porcelain head with phrenology markings on its skull. It made me smile when I saw the sunglasses balanced on its face. There’s also a table made from a ship’s wheel set between two armchairs. I imagined James and Claudia sitting there, sipping tea, discussing life. Claudia says he spends a lot of time in the study, which could make things tricky until he leaves.
    ‘Bye,’ I say, thinking I should have said something else. I smile and he waits, and then nods and leaves. I think he feels as awkward as I do.
    I lean back, pressing my head against the wall. It’s time to get on.
    *
    That afternoon, I set off for school early. Meeting Claudia’s closest friends could be useful, and lingering in the school playground is the best way to do it. Besides, it’s what a nanny would do. I go on foot, even though Claudia has given me use of a little Fiat tucked away in the garage or, for longer journeys, James’s car after he’s gone. Besides, it’s a pleasant walk. The sun is glimmering through a skim of clouds and there’s a nip in the air that will help numb my heart. It’s the way it has to be for now.
    Perhaps I’ll take a detour through the park with the boys on the way home, see if there are any ducks, take a spin on the roundabout. Pretend I’m something resembling a nanny.
    I thought I’d be the first to arrive at school, watch the others come into the playground oblivious of me lurking under the tree, figuring out who’s who. It’s not yet three and school doesn’t finish until ten past but there are already several clusters of women gathered together in nattering groups. I hear PTA and plant sales mentioned, something about a boy called Hugh and his dreadful mother. Someone else is moaning about school dinners while another stands alone, clapping her gloved hands together and stamping her feet, self-conscious that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to.
    I’m pretending to read laminated notices on a board when a woman comes up to me.
    ‘Let me guess,’ she says. She has a vague Scottish accent. ‘You must be Zoe.’
    I turn and force a grin. My eyes flick downwards – I can’t help it – and I replace the involuntary action with an even bigger smile. ‘I certainly am. Word spreads fast.’
    ‘I’m Pip,’ she says. ‘A good friend of your boss.’ She holds out her hand. I shake it. Her fingers are icy cold.
    ‘You’re . . .’ Is it rude to mention it? I can’t help it. ‘You’re pregnant too.’
    ‘Must be something in the water round here,’ she says with a lilting laugh. ‘There’s a whole group of us at the moment.’
    The water
. I have to hold myself back from slapping the side of my head and saying,
Oh, it’s that simple is it? Take a few swigs from a Birmingham tap and you’ll be up the duff in no time. Why the hell didn’t I think of that one?
    But I don’t. I laugh at her little joke and try