with magnets.â
I laughed. âWell itâs one theory, I suppose.â
She put her hand on my arm. â
Is
it magnets? Please, please tell me itâs magnets!â
I was in the process of explaining the influence of the moonâs gravitational pull on large bodies of water, when she paused and put her hands on her chest and opened her eyes wide.
âSorry,â she said, âI just got a bit of a rush. Are you feeling it yet?â
âThe drugs? Oh, I donât really do that kind of thing.â
âVery sensible. Very.â
We looked around the room. The drugs seemed to be having a devastating effect on peopleâs posture, with everyone hunching their shoulders and bobbing their heads in a sort of hyper-tense disco. My sister in particular was scrunched up like a squirrel, sucking her lips inwards in concentration as she shook tiny imaginary maracas.
âLook at them,â said Connie, shaking her head. âPeople always say
take this, drink that, youâll lose your inhibitions
. What we need is something thatâll give them back.
Here, try this, itâll make you massively sensible.
Weâd all have a much better time. Imagine waking up and saying to yourself, âChrist, I was
totally
inhibited last night.ââ
âActually, thatâs exactly what I do say.â
She laughed, for the first time I think. âLucky you! Sounds lovely.â There was a brief moment where we did nothing but smile, then: âItâs very loud in here. I need some water. Can we go in the kitchen?â
I noticed Jake, his hooded eyes glaring territorially. âActually, I was about to head off home.â
âDouglas,â she said over her shoulder, reaching out her hand, âyou give in
far
too easily,â and I wondered what she meant as I followed her through.
24. spatula
In the kitchen I battled with my desire to wipe down all the surfaces.
âYour sister tells me youâre some kind of genius.â
âWell, my sister has a low âgeniusâ threshold. She says the same about practically everyone in that room.â
âThatâs different, though, isnât it? Thatâs talent, and not even talent most of the time. Self-confidence, thatâs what it is. When she says âgeniusâ she just means theyâve got a really loud voice. You, you actually know things. Tell me again, about the fruit flies.â
I did my best to explain in laymanâs terms, while she stood at the sink and drank water from a pint glass in one long gulp, then remained standing with her head thrown back, a good deal of water running the length of her neck.
â⦠then we take the next generation of fruit flies and examine how the chemical agents have altered the ⦠are you all right?â
Coming round, she blinked and shook her head a little. âMe? Yeah, Iâm fine, I drank a little too much and now â¦â She sighed and drew her hands down her face. âChrist, that was a bright idea! Iâve just broken up with someone, you see.â
âOh, Iâm sorry.â
âNo, it was the right thing to do, it was a terrible relationship, itâs just ⦠it was four years, you know?â
âA long time.â
âKeep talking to me, wonât you? Donât go away.â
I had no intention of going away. âSo we look for changes in the flyâs phenoââ
âYou seeing someone, Douglas?â
âMe? No, not at the moment, not for some time. Pressure of work,â I said, as if this were the reason.
âI knew you were single.â
âIs it really so obvious?â
âNo, I mean your sister told me. I think sheâs been trying to fix us up.â
âYes. Yes, Iâm sorry about that.â
âDonât apologise. Not your fault. Sheâs convinced that Iâd be good for you. Or was it the other way around? Either way, nothingâs going to
Learning to Kill: Stories