an arm full of tattoos. Anatoly had been thinking of
getting a tattoo…I had been helping him decide on a design. But I wouldn’t be
helping with those kinds of decisions any more.
And yes, Alex was still watching
me…watching me until I finally managed to lose myself in the crowd of jubilant
people, many of whom would spend the weekend gambling everything they had on
games of chance that they would almost certainly lose. When I finally got back to the bar I
spotted Marcus looking around for me. By his side was Dena. Dena noticed me first and reached out
her hand. The gesture itself almost broke me. But then again this moment felt
too big for tears. What I really wanted to do was scream.
I relayed the brief story in its
entirety, stopping only long enough to consume large gulps of alcohol. Dena and Marcus exchanged looks when I
got to the part about the check but neither of them chastised me for it. Instead they just bought me another
drink. Marcus placated me by noting that the busty-blonde girl looked skanky.
He even took it a step further by insisting that Anatoly was an asshole who
didn’t deserve me. Dena remained
noticeably silent.
“If we want good seats we should probably go up to the movie
theater,” Marcus said, glancing at his watch.
“I’ll meet you there,” I mumbled. “I have to go to the ladies
room.”
“I’ll go with you,” Dena said as
she tried to link her arm through mine.
I jerked away from her. “I don’t
need your help.”
Dena narrowed her eyes. “Excuse
me, but did I do something to piss you off?”
“It’s what you’re thinking right
now,” I slurred. “Your thoughts are pissing me off.”
“So you’re a mind reader now?”
“You’re thinking that Anatoly
didn’t do anything wrong this time. You’re thinking that I broke it off with him and he’s a free agent!” I
slammed the rest of my drink before adding, “You’re thinking that anything goes
in Vegas, especially if you’re newly single! Go ahead, tell me where I’m
wrong.”
Dena’s eyes were now so narrow I
could barely see them through her eyelashes. Marcus kept his face as blank as
possible as he looked around the room, studying the light fixtures, his glass
and various other inanimate objects.
“I don’t think it matters if I
was thinking that or not,” Dena said coolly, “because clearly you were.”
“I’m going to the ladies room,” I
growled, “unassisted, thank you. I’ll meet you at the theater.”
Dena opened her mouth to protest
but Marcus, finally bringing his eyes back to his present company, patted her
reassuringly on the shoulder.
“Sophie’s a high functioning
drunk. She’ll make it to the
bathroom and the theater by herself.”
It was a small triumph that
Marcus thought I was a high functioning anything at that moment and I spared
him a small smile before spinning on my heel and walking off. My phone vibrated
in my bag. A text from my friend, and Dena’s cousin, Mary Ann. I didn’t even
bother to read it. I didn’t want to deal with her or anyone else right now. I
didn’t even want to go to the ladies room. I had just wanted a moment to myself to catch my breath.
Everything had taken on a hazy quality. The colored lights of the slot machines seemed a little softer and…well,
fuzzier. And the laughter of the
gamblers, the ringing of the bells…it all took on an almost meditative
quality. So much noise and
stimulation all designed to keep you from thinking anything through. No wonder I had acted on impulse,
recklessly signing a $250 check to a stranger just so he could confirm some bad
news. Reckless impulsivity was
what Vegas was all about. It all made sense…particularly after five cosmos.
Abruptly I changed course and
went to the elevators that would take me up to the sixth floor.
As I rode up I tried to find some
level of clarity despite the intoxication. Would I really hit him? What about her? She hadn’t