Veil of Scars by J. R. Gray Read Free Book Online Page B

them both and yet love them so differently?
    "How come you never told me before?"
    Her head dropped to my chest. "Because it was easier with him. I knew you were my friend, but I started to think you had no interest in me as more."
    "It never even occurred to me that I could feel that way for anyone. I still don't know if I could … be like you and Sam are." I pushed my fingers into her hair. This touching was so easy, but when it went remotely sexual, everything became foreign to me.
    "You should at least try before you give up on it." She touched her lips to the side of my jaw, then brushed her nose over the heated patch of skin. "Did it at least feel good, what I did?" She paused then corrected herself. "We did."
    A shiver rolled down my spine, and my eyes lulled half closed. "It felt good," I whispered.
    I could feel her smile against my face. "Remember what you mean to us. It would never change anything."
    "I love you, Charlie, I think I always have."
    "I love you, too, Steven."
    I pulled her tightly against me, my mind still whirling.
    ****
    The rest of the day passed quietly. We glided in and out of the apartment, moving around each other with ease, like nothing had transpired the night before. As I sat and stared at the mountain of homework I had, the back of my mind worked through the situation. I would answer a math problem, then tussle with an angle of the emotional side of things. By the early evening, I felt like I had been fumbling with an impossible Rubik's cube. I could solve the physical one in less than two minutes, with my eyes closed, behind my back, but with the emotions I was lost. No matter how I turned the situation, there was always an impossible feat, or a disastrous outcome, I would have to face.
    I tossed down my pencil, and Charlie looked up at me. "You okay?"
    "Yeah, I've just had enough of thinking for the night." She leaned into Sam as they both read from their textbooks.
    "I'm right there with you, babe." She tossed her book aside and tugged the tie out of her hair, letting the soft curls fall around her face. "Want to watch a movie?"
    "No, I mean I'm tired of thinking. If I think about this shit any more, I'm going to lose it."
    That caught Sam's attention, and he looked up from his book. "What's going on?"
    "I want to try it so I can stop thinking."
    "Try it?" Charlie chewed on her lip looking hopeful.
    "You serious, Steve?" Sam asked.
    I nodded, not sure at all, but anything was better than the hell I was putting myself through. "Let's try again."
    No one said anything.
    I sat straight up and put my hands on my knees. "How does this work?"
    "Want a drink?" Sam detangled himself from Char and was getting to his feet.
    "No, I think sober would be better,” I muttered at his back.
    That didn't stop him. He went to the kitchen and took a swig directly from the tequila bottle.
    Charlie gathered up her things and put them away. Sam took a few more drinks, and my face fell.
    "If it's stressing you out we don't have to..." I said as I watched him.
    "I need to relax. This is my first time for this, too." His words made me wince.
    "Can you not?" Charlie shot him a harsh look. "Go brush your teeth."
    It finally looked like Sam had caught on, and he shoved the bottle back in the freezer. "I'm an idiot."
    "It's okay." I wrung my hands in my lap, and Charlie came to sit next to me.
    "Any time you want me or him to stop or go slower, tell us, okay?" She smoothed her hand up my chest and brushed her nose over the base of my neck.
    I turned into her gesture, brushing my lips over her temple. Instead of slowing down my thoughts sped up, whirling around my head in overdrive. I didn't know if I could do this.
    When Sam returned, he took my hand and dragged me toward their bedroom. Once inside the dark room, he pushed me playfully and I stumbled back in the direction of the bed.
    "Get in bed."
    He started to strip quickly, and I awkwardly pushed my jeans off as I lay back on the bed. Charlie undressed more