Waiting for Me by Ava Claire Read Free Book Online Page A

could have withstood a slap across the face
     from Delilah, but hearing that I hurt her? It gutted me. And looking at Melissa, eyes
     round with concern, throwing around words like ‘broken’ when I wanted to be her rock...that
     hurt too. I wanted to be the Dom that protected her from anything and everything.
     I couldn’t be that and be broken.
    I rose smoothly, walking to the French doors that led to the patio. To oxygen, since
     all the air seemed to have vacated the room. “I’m not broken.” The breeze was warm
     and distracting, holding the morning notes of dogs being walked and surfers headed
     toward Pleasure Point right down the street. The weather, the birds, the light floral
     scent of roses beside the hot tub—all of it was preferable to telling Melissa the
     truth. I’d let Delilah seep in like a poison and I was spiraling down a rabbit hole
     that didn’t lead to my paradise; a place of belts and restraints and safe words. A
     place that had always been an escape for me, and to my knowledge, my lovers as well.
     Delilah ripped that all away, dumping me into a hell of my own creation. Hurting women...that makes you just like –
    I didn’t say the bastard’s name.
    I couldn’t.
    So I told the truth.
    “I’m broken.”
    I almost thought I’d screamed the words, but my lips were clamped together, so ready
     to revert back to safe haven. The comfort behind the walls I built to keep my emotions
     at bay. But the words escaped. Low and earnest. Barely above a whisper.
    I faced Melissa, wondering if she heard. Difficult to decide whether I wanted her
     to hear or not.
    Her eyes told me she did.
    She shrugged her shoulders, but we both knew it was a big deal. The air was charged
     now. Electric.
    “I’m broken too,” she said quietly. “You were right about my dad. About Jason.”
    She threw back the rest of her orange juice like there was something else in the glass
     besides Vitamin C. Something to give her strength. “As far back as I can remember,
     all I’ve wanted was my dad’s approval. It was just the two of us, so I cooked, I cleaned,
     I got good grades, I stayed out of trouble.
    My dad owns a marketing firm, so it’s all about appearance. On the outside, we were
     happy. I was happy. He smiled and joked when we were around other people.” Her voice
     wavered. “Sometimes I’d forget it was all a show. Fake. I’d let myself believe that
     he cared about me. I mean, of course he cares about me, it’s just—” She let out an
     abrupt, unnerving chuckle, hopping to her feet. “God. Even now I’m making excuses.
     I was so desperate for someone to want me, to notice, that I didn’t stand a chance
     when Jason finally asked me out.”
    Just the sound of his name a second time was enough to make my fists clench and my
     mouth narrow into a scowl.
    “How can I blame him?” she said bitterly. “It’s no wonder he—”
    “Don’t you dare,” I said tersely, capturing her hand. I interlaced our fingers and
     drew her in until her body was against mine. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with
     you.”
    She nuzzled me. “How about you?”
    I planted a kiss on the top of her head and lingered, breathing in the warmth of her.
     “Apparently, I’m broken,” I joked.
    She pushed my chest, nothing joking in the gesture. Her palms were firm and insistent,
     her eyes blue, unyielding slits. “Talk to me, Logan.”
    Being open and vulnerable was so foreign, so fucking terrifying that I reverted to
     annoyance. “What do you want me to say? That it sucked to hear that something that
     I take seriously, that means a lot to me, was totally wasted? That she thinks I wanted
     to hurt her? That pain is somehow part of the package?”
    “Well, isn’t it?”
    I took a step backward and drew a steadying breath before I answered. “It’s about
     more than just pain, Melissa. More than control.” She looked genuinely curious, so
     I kept going. “A lot of people are under the