Waiting for You by Abigail Strom Read Free Book Online

is way too boring for that.”
    She looked back up at Beth, who was slowly shaking her head. “My God, I can’t believe it. A real life virgin. I feel like I should be speaking in hushed tones. Can I touch you?”
    “Very funny.”
    “No, but seriously. How is this possible? I mean, I know you didn’t sleep with anybody in high school, because I was there. But I assumed you had sex when you went to college, because everyone has sex in college. How did you not have sex in college? And how come I didn’t know about this? Does Allison know?”
    “No. It’s not something I talk about, because it’s embarrassing ,” she said with pointed emphasis.
    “Well, suck it up,” Beth said cheerfully. “I’m going back to California in a few hours, which means all your secrets are safe with me. So start talking. How did it not happen in college?”
    Erin gave into the inevitable. “I don’t know. I was ready for it to, but then it just…didn’t.”
    “You had boyfriends, though. Who was that guy your sophomore year? You guys were pretty serious. Tim? No…Ted.”
    Erin nodded. “Ted. He was really sweet, and we dated for six months before we even talked about sleeping together.”
    “Six months? My God. He must have been the most patient guy on the planet. Or gay. Or was he really religious, or something?”
    “Not that I know of. But when we finally decided to try, he—well, he couldn’t.”
    “You mean he was impotent?”
    “I don’t know. At the time, though, I figured it was me. That he didn’t want me enough to—”
    “Get it up?”
    “Yes.” Erin could still recall in painful detail the humiliation of that failed attempt. “You can imagine how great that was for my self-esteem. Especially since he wouldn’t talk about it and broke up with me the next day.”
    “He was probably mortified.”
    “I can see that now,” Erin acknowledged. “But at the time…”
    “You thought it was your fault.” Beth’s voice was sympathetic.
    “Yeah. I did.”
    “Okay, so then what?”
    “Well.” It was turning out not to be too terrible to talk about the one subject she’d always thought she’d never, ever talk about. “The next guy I dated, Kevin, definitely didn’t have the problem Ted had. I mean, even when we kissed goodnight I could feel his…”
    “Erection?”
    “Yes. That never happened with Ted. So at least I knew Kevin wanted me. That seemed like a step in the right direction. And he wanted to sleep with me from the very beginning. So after a month or so I figured I’d do it and get it over with.”
    “Get it over with? That doesn’t sound like a rousing endorsement of the guy.”
    “He was all right at first. Good on paper, you know? Smart and funny. But I wasn’t in love with him. Looking back, I don’t think I was in love with Ted, either, but I really liked him and he was always so sweet and gentle. Kevin wasn’t like that. The night we decided to have sex felt all wrong from the beginning. I was really nervous, and Kevin got more and more impatient, and finally I told him I’d changed my mind. The next day I told him I wanted to wait a little longer, but he broke up with me instead.”
    “Asshole.”
    “Agreed. But at the time…”
    “You thought it was your fault?”
    She nodded. “I didn’t date anybody seriously my senior year. Then I graduated, and…well…I just sort of stopped trying.”
    Beth stared at her. “You stopped trying? At twenty-two? That’s a little young to throw in the towel.”
    “Well, after Ted and Kevin…and the few other guys I’d gone out with…I decided that since I’d waited that long, that I might as well wait for the right guy. Someone who made me feel like—” She stopped suddenly, realizing she’d almost said Jake’s name. Almost referred to the night of her sixteenth birthday, when he’d kissed her…and made her feel things she’d never felt with anyone else.
    Not until last night, anyway.
    But that was one thing she