do. Don’t you?’
‘Yeah, but I thought you were a…’
‘A what?’
Selina shrugged and unless he was mistaken, he was sure he could detect the same look of embarrassment on her face that she’d had when she’d first seen his book.
‘A hippy, I guess.’
Alex laughed and put the phone back on the side. ‘Why? Because I walk around without shoes and I don’t have some trendy, hipster haircut?’ He shook his head as Selina visibly cringed behind her glass. ‘I suppose if I told you I had a Facebook account, you’d faint?’
‘Ha, ha.’ Selina replied, deadpan. ‘I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.’
‘I’m from Berlin, not Mars.’
‘You’re from Berlin? I’d been trying to figure out where your accent was from.’
He hadn’t thought she was interested, since she never asked.
‘My mum’s English and I’ve got friends from all over the place back home,’ he explained. ‘I don’t have a typical German accent.’
‘Cool.’
Alex sipped at his coffee while she sipped at her orange juice and for a few seconds, neither of them said anything. Had he missed something? Maybe he was a little out of sorts from lack of sleep, but had they actually just had a normal conversation without her giving him a single withering look? He looked at her as she drew small circles on her glass with her finger. Eventually, she broke the silence by scraping her chair back and got up from the table.
‘Right, well,’ she said. ‘I’d better get ready for work. What are you up to today?’
‘I need to put the paint we bought yesterday to good use.’
‘Good luck.’ She nodded and smiled.
As she left the kitchen, he found himself unable to keep his gaze away from the perfect curve of her hips and thought back to yesterday, when he’d watched her sitting out on Penny’s porch during the storm. He’d tried to concentrate on his book but gave in when he realised he’d re-read the same page almost a dozen times. He’d watched the way she smiled when Penny spoke to her and it was as if the girl who’d arrived with manicured nails, a face full of make up and unsuitable shoes was slowly becoming someone else. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen another side to a beautiful woman, but this time it was different. It was like she was becoming someone he wanted to get to know instead of running away from.
Alex looked at his phone and pictured Marie, sitting in her Berlin apartment, wondering why he still hadn’t replied after almost three months away. When they’d met at a mutual friend’s house party, he’d been fascinated with her. She’d walked into the room and it was like being showered with light. She was effervescent, friendly and beautiful, and if there was ever a life and soul of the party, she was it. Everyone wanted a piece, including him. Until he’d realised that none of it was real and by that time, it was too late. The real Marie was destructive, possessive and precariously emotional. It was only when they’d party and get high that she’d become the Marie who had captivated him like nobody else before.
How could he have told Marie that, when he’d realised what his life was descending into, he’d had to leave, and that meant leaving her too? How could he tell her that he couldn’t be with someone who had an insatiable appetite for self-destruction? He couldn’t, so he’d left her a note explaining he was going away instead. He’d known she’d needed help but she didn’t want it and he’d had to make a choice: stay and become someone he was beginning to hate, or leave and try and get back to the person he used to be.
After the first few messages she’d sent, calling him every name under the sun, he’d simply stopped reading them because he’d known that he deserved it. Being with Marie had been an invaluable life lesson and that was why he’d promised himself not to get involved with anyone, at least not until he was ready. He had to deal with getting used to his new