Wedding by Ann Herendeen Read Free Book Online

has
passed.”
    He was shaking with the effort at restraint
that was so alien to him. He tried, but could not conceal his
thoughts from me. The incident in the travelers’ hut had frightened
him more than it had me. I had attributed the problem to the
disruption of our communion. Once that was restored, I thought, all
should be well.
    But Dominic could not share my confidence. He
was attracted to lovers who were small, young or vulnerable in some
way, inspiring his protective instinct and that other side of him,
the one that enjoyed abuse and domination. In the hut, the
telepathic weapon had jammed our communion, blocking the gentleness
it would have inspired, leaving us at the mercy of desire
untempered by love. It had happened so easily, and Dominic had had
no warning, no chance to resist the weapon’s influence. Now he was
worried he might never be able to touch me, or any lover, without
succumbing to the allure of violence.
    I recalled that first time at La Sapienza,
when he had been so aroused by looking at me in a dressmaker’s
mirror that he could not wait, but had rushed in to make telepathic
love to me. And before that, the embrace and kisses we had shared
in my apartment. There had been no lurking brutality there, no
sense of Dominic having to suppress a part of his sexuality.
    “I don’t want to wait,” I said. “I want to
find out, now, if we can be lovers or not.”
    Dominic stood up and moved away from the bed.
“Amalie,” he said, “it’s enough that you’re carrying my child. Once
this rebellion is put down, the weapon destroyed, then we’ll
see.”
    His words only increased my determination.
Dominic was riding off into unknown danger in the morning. What
if he was killed and we had never come together in love?
    Besides, it was not all up to Dominic to
adjust. The communion could make it possible for each of us to
attune our bodies and behavior to the other, allowing us to enjoy
physical love without having to settle for only tepid sexuality.
Dominic would need to use a reasonable amount of self-control, and
with the help of the communion I could reach the height of arousal,
protecting myself while acting as a full participant in our
coupling.
    I was willing to chance it now, see what
happened. Eleonora had scoffed at the idea that the Eris weapon
would attack us here at Aranyi, with two of Eclipsis’s most gifted
seminary staff in residence, and Dominic and me not exactly
defenseless. I walked toward him, sending my thoughts in the
partial communion I had created between us. You must stop
blaming yourself for something a telepathic weapon caused.
    Dominic attempted to free himself from the
communion, answering me in speech. “You are too generous, Amalie.
You excuse my actions because you think I was overpowered.”
    “Weren’t you? What was all this about, if you
weren’t overpowered?” I made the sign against evil, jabbing my hand
at his face.
    Dominic stepped back, smiling sadly. “No
weapon, however powerful, could compel me to do something wholly
against my nature. If the desire did not already exist in my mind,
the weapon would have had nothing to build on.” Dominic was not
looking at me as he spoke, but at the wall, eyes unfocused, looking
into himself, tortured by his accusing memories.
    “But you don’t always have that desire,” I
said. “You never even thought about it when I was at La Sapienza.”
I remembered it so clearly, the love we had created then for each
other in our minds. Dominic had had to do more of the work, as his
skill was greater. But my perceptions had been acute, sharpened by
my training. What Dominic had wanted then had been simple and
unthreatening—sexual fulfillment for both of us. We had achieved
that, despite our geographical separation. Surely, now that we were
together, we could attain it again, if only he would trust himself
to enter communion with me. “Please, Dominic, don’t let this weapon
come between us forever.”
    “You’re not