What It Takes by Jude Sierra Read Free Book Online Page A

sweet. And when he kissed back, Milo let his lips open a little, felt the brush of Andrew’s tongue. One of them inhaled, sharp and shocked, and when Andrew surged into the kiss, Milo broke away and covered his lips with a hand and gasped out a broken I’m sorry whilestumbling away from him with coltish jerks and averted eyes.
    The I’m sorry was like a slap that slammed Milo’s whole body into a too aware and terrified state. So of course he did what any dumbstruck, completely blindsided teenager would do.
    He ran away.
    I kind of love you , Milo remembers saying. And then Andrew kissed him. What the fucking fuck?
    Milo groans and flops over on his bed, covering his face with his pillow. What is he supposed to do with this? How is he supposed to face Andrew? Is Andrew like... in love with him? Was that kiss completely random, or some sort of experiment? Why did he like it so much? It felt nice—well, better than nice—but it was Andrew . No. Just…no.
    °
    Andrew hides in his bedroom for as long as humanly possible. He turned off his phone and washed his face and then showered and changed his clothes, as if any of that could possibly erase the whole afternoon. Now he’s huddled under the covers watching reruns of Cara Says, trying to forget.
    He’s divided, deep inside: one part of him lingers on the shape and texture of Milo’s lips. For more than three years he’s wished in wistful longing to kiss Milo. He knew it would never happen though. Just because Andrew is a dreamer doesn’t mean he’s stupid. He has no idea at all what possessed him to kiss his best friend while he was in the midst of a breakdown. In his closet , which is a hideous and hilarious irony.
    Here the other half of him jumps in, over and over, a cacophonous force roiling with anger because why? Life without Milo would be incredibly bleak. Perhaps if Andrew had never met him things would be different. But somehow, loving Milo—caring for him, entertaining him, laughing hysterically at his jokes—is the center of his world. Milo easily takes Andrew’s playful whims and makes them real, like the amazing fort they built near their pond in the clearing, a secret hideout they’ve taken advantage of so often. From the outside, it’s always looked like a tree house sitting on the ground. Inside, it’s Andrew’s expressive playground, a place where he can draw and paint and decorate over and over.
    Only Milo understands how much Andrew needs secret outlets. And yet Milo underestimates how important he is to Andrew. So often when he’s coming down from a panic attack or has escaped his home to just be in a calmer place, he apologizes profusely. Nothing between them is unbalanced, not to Andrew, despite the knowledge that he’s been in love, hopelessly, for a long time.
    Well... until he lost his mind and stupidly kissed Milo.
    °
    I... don’t know how to Doris, Andrew texts late that night. It’s too late, but he can’t sleep for thinking and rethinking and agonizing over how on earth he is supposed to fix this. Texting seemed the easiest way to reach out. Andrew frowns when he notices the typo.
    Do this, I mean, he texts, mentally facepalming. Autocorrect wins again.
    As always, Milo replies instantly.
    This is good, right? Easy banter. The usual kind. As if it never happened. Maybe it’s an out. Maybe it’s Milo saying they don’t ever have to talk about it.
    The thing is, Andrew doesn’t want to cop out. He’s not ready to confess that he’s maybe been in love with Milo for years, because that would make things weird, and he’s definitely not taking the risk of ruining their friendship over a one-sided crush, even if it’s more than a crush. He’s gay, and Milo is... Milo. Truth is, he has no idea. They’ve never talked about Milo’s sexuality, and Andrew had never questioned it, but then there’s the thing .
    The kiss back.
    Andrew, in re-reel number seventy-five, finally remembered that Milo pressed in, opened his lips and