When Everything Feels like the Movies by Raziel Reid Read Free Book Online Page A

tabloid that said, “Kanye’s Secret Shame: He’s Gay!” I stared at it as we waited and kept thinking about it while we put the groceries in the trunk of the car. When we were driving home, I asked my mom, “Do you think Kanye West is gay?”
    “Does taking it up the butt with your own head count?” she asked.
    “Do you think it’s bad to be gay?”
    “What? Didn’t I tell you to forget everything Father John Paul says as soon as he says it? I don’t even know why I let your grandmother take you—”
    “It wasn’t anything Father John Paul said,” I interrupted. “It was just that a magazine made it sound like a bad thing.”
    “What maga … Well, magazines make everything celebrities do seem like a bad thing.”
    “Yeah, Lindsay can’t even do a line in peace.”
    “I know,” my mom sighed. “Poor girl.”
    “Well, I’m gay,” I said. “But I hope Kanye West isn’t. Straight people can keep him.”
    My mom looked surprised for just a second and then she smiled. I don’t think she was acting. Sometimes my mom would smile, but it was as real as her tits.
    “Shocker,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve only been walking in heels better than me since you were three years old!”

8
    Movie Poster
     
    A ll the girls had crushes on Mr Dawson. Alexis Crane was always squeezing her chest together, trying to give herself cleavage in front of him. He liked to start each class by reading to us for fifteen minutes. I could tell that what he liked the most was hearing his own voice. It was totally narcissistic but also kind of cute. When he read, he got so into it, you couldn’t help but feel transported. Everyone else thought he was a loser because he read Jane Austen with an English accent, but I started having sex dreams about him when he asked us to write an essay on a movie that changed our lives.
    I chose The Rocky Horror Picture Show , obviously, and even dressed as Frank-N-Furter to read my essay in front of the class. When I whipped off my cape to reveal my corset and garter belt, Matt yelled from his desk, “Go back to Transsexual, Transylvania freak!”
    “What country is Transylvania in, Matt?” Mr Dawson asked, once everyone had stopped laughing.
    “I don’t know,” Matt shrugged. “Who cares?”
    “So you know more about transsexuals than geography?” Mr Dawson smirked.
    Suddenly, it sounded like the room was full of owls. I’m surprised Matt didn’t get up and punch Mr Dawson in the face, but for the first time, he looked embarrassed. I was never intimidated by him after that. Shame is so boring. I traced my tongue over my glistening red lips and stared straight into his eyes, arching one of my thick, illustrious brows.
    “Everyone keep your mouths shut, please,” Mr Dawson said. “Jude, you may continue.” I kept reading with my voice shaking because the room was so quiet. I was waiting for someone to laugh every time I said a word with an “s” in it. And I couldn’t have that, so I started singing, dancing on desks, shaking my ass. Soon, everyone was cheering for me. Everyone wanted a part in my movie.
    When I finished, I got a standing ovation. Then the bell rang and everyone got out of the class as fast as they could. I went back to my desk and got my books. As I was about to leave, I tried to think of a way to thank Mr Dawson. That was the first time anyone had ever stood up for me, besides Angela, who usually just butted in because she liked the drama. I was worried that “thank you” would sound lame, or worse, like I was hitting on him, which was basically what every guy thought I was doing whenever I gave him a little attention. On the rare occasions I talked to Ray, he always looked at me like I’d just asked if I could give him a blow job.
    I decided not to say anything at all and started to walk out of the class, but Mr Dawson stopped me. “Remember, Jude,” he said, “don’t dream it, be it.”
    As I walked out of his classroom into the hall, I