When September Ends by Andrea Smith Read Free Book Online Page A

minute. Maybe it’s time you knew the truth.”
    She nods and takes a seat at the table. I clasp my hands together, flexing them, trying to articulate how I break this to her so that it doesn’t sound…tacky…or worse, perverse.
    I clear my throat. “You see September is a woman, Scout. She’s an adult by all standards and, well, having her here with us…” I pause, searching for an acceptable explanation, “Well, she and I started having a mutual affection for one another—different than the affection and love that I have for you, does that make sense?”
    “You two were in love,” she comments, “I knew that . What I want to know is why she left. Did you two stop being in love, like with Mama?”
    I feel my jaw drop as my eyes widen. “Uh, what do you mean, you knew?”
    She shrugs, and gives an eye roll. “I don’t know, I could just tell. You both looked at each other the same way that Amber’s mom and dad look at each other, all googly eyed.”
    Googly-eyed is not a term I’m familiar with, but I get the drift. I can’t hold back a slight smile, but then I quickly get back to my serious tone. “Wait—why didn’t you ever say anything to us about it?” I ask her.
    “Because,” she replies, drawing the word out longer than necessary, “It wasn’t my business. So did you?”
    “Did I what?”
    “Did you stop loving September like you did with Mama?”
    Okay, now my daughter needs a refresher course in this shit. I take a deep breath because I don’t want it to sound mean.
    “Scout, first off, I didn’t stop loving your mama—well I did , but that was long after she stopped loving me, you understand?”
    She nods.
    “So, in answer to your question about me and September, I can only speak on my behalf, and the answer is no, I haven’t stopped loving her.”
    “Okay, so I guess that means she stopped loving you…”
    I tense up. “Maybe so but, hey, listen it’s your bed time baby girl. Gimme a kiss and then scoot off to bed.”
    She kisses me, and I can tell she has more questions to ask, but there’s no way I can answer them without showing just how torn up I am inside, and how responsible I am for September’s departure.
    But she’s coming by tomorrow. Maybe this will provide one more chance for me to make my case with her.

Chapter 10

    I get off the phone with Scout, and look over to where Brandon is sprawled all over the loveseat in my cramped living room, watching something on the tube.
    Yeah, I have shared everything about Jesse and me, and our previous relationship with Brandon. I really had no choice. He actually witnessed the mini-meltdown I’d had that evening after Jesse dropped me back at my apartment. Brandon had come in just minutes later, banging on my door to see if I was okay. One look at my reddened eyes and blotchy face had said it all. He wasn’t buying my “I’ll be fine,” excuses, and I finally broke.
    I barely knew the guy and there I was, pouring my tears and the fragments of my heart out all over the place. I didn’t care. I needed to have it out there, even if it meant that he found me repulsive and nasty.
    But he hadn’t.
    He had comforted me as much as a twenty-year-old college jock that barely knew his overly emotional new neighbor could offer.
    “I bet you’re wishing the chicks with the purple hair and black lipstick still lived here,” I had sobbed, taking the roll of toilet paper he had offered me, and tearing off a length in order to wipe my eyes.
    “Not even close,” he had replied, with a grin, “Hey, I’m not judging you, September. Believe it or not, I understand how these things work.”
    “You do?” I asked with a sniffle.
    “Yep. I’ve had one or two questionable liaisons, myself.”
    “Liaisons,” I repeated, “You mean like hook-ups?”
    “No, silly. I mean like relationships.”
    “You’re only twenty,” I had pointed out.
    “Almost twenty-one, and hey, you’re only nineteen.”
    “Yeah, but well…I mean, guys,