Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy by Geralyn Lucas Read Free Book Online

has cancer?
    I had seventeen bridesmaids at my wedding and four matrons of honor, so there were a lot of people I had to call. But should I have told my flower girl, Alissa? She is only seven and worships me and I can’t die on her. The telling had gotten a little easier, sort of like when I waited tables in college and I rattled off the daily specials. I wanted all my family and friends to hear it directly from me, to have front-row seats to what was unfolding, rather than hear it from someone else and think that they were not close enough to my heart.
    When I told Robin, she started to make almost animal noises and dropped the phone. After she picked it up, she couldn’t stop sobbing,
    “No, no, no. I love you.”
    She has always been more emotional than I am, and I’ve counted on her my entire life to be the part of me I could not be. We have been best friends since we were three, and our parents still live across the street from each other in Philadelphia. Robin is my alter ego. She cried when they separated us in first grade because we were too cliquey. I wanted to cry, too, but I am more distant from my feelings. Robin is in charge of calling our two other best friends, Jane and Diane, because my call with Robin shows me that I can’t handle the calls with Jane and Diane, especially since Diane is on vacation in Africa and we don’t want her to get on a plane and rush home.
    The one person I was most scared to tell was my boss, Meredith. I was dreading it because she is a goddess and thoroughly intimidating. Meredith is so perfect, and this news was so messy. I had been trying to win her over with the best story ideas and working late, and it was hard to tell if I was impressing her because because she was just so composed.
    My lawyer brothers, Paul and Howard, had researched the law for me and told me it would be illegal for ABC to fire me. I wasn’t worried about that, I was just worried that they would think so much less of me and write off my future there.
    I had finally landed my dream job at 20/20 , and I had been there less than a year. I was so star struck finally getting hired at 20/20 because I got to watch Barbara Walters walk back and forth in front of my cubicle on her way to the bathroom. I rode in the elevator with Hugh Downs. Now it felt like all that, too, was going to be taken away. Even if my breast and hair were gone, at least I thought I would still have my brain. But now I wasn’t so sure. Television is the kind of career where someone might see your cancer as a career opportunity. Damaged goods , was all I was thinking. They’d consider me some sort of medical oddity. I really wanted to make a good impression and now I needed to tell them I had cancer?
    Maybe I could just keep it a secret. Could I pull that off? Maybe they would just think I got a boob job after my reconstructive surgery and I could wear a wig and maybe no one would notice.
    I practiced my speech, trying to sound professional and in control, but when Meredith picked up the phone I just blurted. I was always scared anyway of being inarticulate around Meredith because she is so smart.
    There was silence and then: “Geralyn, I had breast cancer when I was younger, in my thirties.”
    What? I never knew!
    She is so perfect. She is so beautiful. She has lived. “Meredith, please don’t tell anyone. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t want anyone else to know.”
    “Geralyn. You’ll need all of our support. I’ll tell everyone for you. Don’t worry about that. I don’t want you to be burdened telling everyone.”
    She didn’t want me to have to deal with everyone’s reactions. She told the whole staff. She organized a staff present, and a gigantic get-well card signed by every single person who worked at 20/20 . Meredith even told Barbara Walters. Barbara sent me a hand-written note: Geralyn, you are so beautiful and smart and we are all waiting for your return.
    Even though Meredith took care of the telling, I had to go