Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov Read Free Book Online Page B

take the initiative. Assume that a man wants to be a gentleman. And if he wants to be a gentleman, he wants to
please you
.
    The bitch requires an equivocal situation, whereas the nice girl does not. If the guy insists on picking the movie or restaurant all the time and has no regard for what she likes, the bitch will not have any contact with him. It isn’t about Italian or Chinese. It isn’t about one movie over another. It’s about whether he shows her he is selfish. This is a character flaw the bitch won’t tolerate.
    This is a silly example, but I’ll offer it because evidently it worked. A Swedish girlfriend of mine named Anna recently had dinner with a man, and he ordered two lobsters. The waiter brought the two live lobsters to the table and asked, “Will this be okay, sir?” My friend is not a vegetarian, but she grew up with a couple of pet frogs in Sweden and was alarmed to see the lobsters’ little legs kicking. She said, “I just couldn’t sit through the next five minutes knowing these two things would be boiled alive,” and she insisted that he change the order.
    Anna would have bet her life savings that this guy would never call her again, but he did. He called almost every day that week. He wanted to please her more than he wanted lobster. That’s a gentleman. I’m not saying the lobster example is a trick you should try at home, but it’s far better than the Eddie Murphy bride who said, “Whatever you like.”
    ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #19
    More than anything else, he watches to see if you’ll be too emotionally dependent on him.
     
    It isn’t that a man wants a woman who is “bitching” all the time or complaining about everything that’s wrong in her life. He wants a woman who isn’t afraid to disagree or express an opinion.
    When he asks on the first date, “What do you like to do?” don’t shrug and say, “Um. You know. Stuff.” You don’t need to say you’ll bungee jump, climb mountains, and then come home and have sex all night. But show him that you have an “appetite for life.”
Your life
.
    It’s all in how you describe things. “Occasionally,
(yawn)
I pick up a book.” This not the same as “There is this
amazing
book I’m reading by Susan Faludi, and it’s so intriguing. She’s such an incredible writer.”
    To better understand why men are put off by needy women, keep this example in mind. Ever had a girlfriend who always comes around when she is upset over some guy? In between relationships, she is nowhere to be found. After not hearing from her for two months, she cries on your shoulder when the guy blows her off. Then you don’t see her again until the next guy dumps her.
    Eventually you won’t want to be around her because you
won’t feel as though she is contributing
to your friendship. That’s how a guy feels when you are too dependent on him. It becomes a burden if you lean on him too much. He is only human, and he has his own problems. Show him that you’ll be an equal partner, which means that you also have something to contribute.
    ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #20
    He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Only then will he perceive you as an equal partner.
     
    The mere fact that the bitch can throw a little weight around or put him in his place once in a while gives him the impression she doesn’t need to be with him. She can stand on her own two feet. So, instead of feeling as if he’s lost his freedom, he feels as though he’s gained a strong woman. The relationship is a contributing force, rather than an obligation he’s stuck with.
    This is also why giving him space is so important. It makes you look proud rather than desperate. It enables you to remain a challenge indefinitely. Why? You
chose
to be with him. You didn’t
need
to be. As a person, you feel you are complete with him or without him. This is the most important thing you can convey: independence rather than dependence. This is what gives him the