back into the living room where I continued to unpack his CDs.
“Where are you going so fast?” He had a curious look on his face.
“Well , you have about a million CDs and DVDs that are taking space on you floor. I figured you might want them on your shelves before you trip over them.”
“You just seem like you’ re running from something. “
“Nope , not running, but sweating to death. Can you open a window or turn on your ceiling fan?” I took my jacket off and laid it on the gigolo couch.
“Can I ask you something?” My back was to him as he opened windows.
“You can always ask a question. There is a possibility I won’t answer, but go ahead.” I love being a smart ass.
“Why the angel wings?” He stood far away, probably in case it was a touchy subject. He obviously wanted to know about my tattoo.
“Well, I don’t know. I always feel torn in the direction I’m headed. Not that I am a religious fanatic or anything, but I know there’s a Heaven and a Hell. There hasn’t been a lot of good here lately. So one day when I found myself wondering around down town, I walked into a tattoo shop and told them I wanted a set of angel wings outlined in black, the tips colored white. Every now and again I have to get the tips touched up because they fade, and I think I do it mostly because I want to hold on to whatever little bit of good I still have.” That was about as personal as I have been with anyone here lately.
“I like tha t. I have a name for you now: Angel.” He was still across the room, but he must have found his feet, because he was walking towards me. He held his hand out and something about this just seemed wrong, but I put my hand in his as he pulled me up. “Dance with me.” It sounded more like a command than a request.
“I haven’t danced with anyone in a while.” I felt like I was betraying someone who wasn’t even here anymore. Someone who told me to let go, and I did just that.
I let him take me in his arms and we danced there in his half unpacked living room. It was a good thing the area was big, because we would have tripped over everything. Greg Laswel’s “This Woman’s Worth” was playing, and for some reason I felt at complete ease. I relaxed. I looked up at Viktor as he towered over me and he was looking down at me with big grey eyes. I couldn’t help but wish they were ice blue. I smiled and placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He rested his head on top of mine and I thought he actually kissed the top of my head. We danced like this even throughout the next song, which was Linkin Park’s “Numb”. Security is what I missed. Someone else’s security, though, not mine. I was tired and exhausted from maintaining this wall I put up. I think it was time to start breaking it down. So, since I shared something, I thought it was time for him to share something.
“Viktor , can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why aren’t there any pictures of your family?”
“Well , that’s because I don’t have one. Never had a mother or a father and, well, as for friends, guys don’t really walk around with a camera taking pictures so they can frame them. That’s more of a girl thing.”
“That’s funny.” He pulled back and looked at me. “No-no. About the camera thing. I didn’t mean about your parents. I never knew my parents, either.”
“Is that why you put on this bad girl act, so you’ll get attention?”
“No , that’s not why. If you must know, I trusted someone once and it didn’t end well, obviously. He broke my heart and I haven’t been the same since.”
“What do you mean? You are beautiful. Are you sure you just didn’t open your eyes and finally wake up?”
“I never thought of it that way. Back then, I was different. I wore dresses, no tattoos, no hair dyes, and the extreme make-up and clothing I never wore. My natural color is blonde and I was all natural. Shay used to call me Plain Jane. It’s like