Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang Read Free Book Online Page B

grandchildren, even the great-grandson went in turn to beg Dr.  Xia to 'consider the feelings' of his 'own flesh and blood."  They went down on their knees, they prostrated themstelves in a full kowtow, they wept and screamed.
     
    They begged Dr.  Xia to consider the fact that he was a Manchu, and that according to ancient Manchu custom a man of his status should not marry a Han Chinese.  Dr.  Xia replied that the rule had been abolished a long time before.
     
    His children said that if he was a good Manchu, he should observe it anyway.  They went on and on about the age gap.
     
    Dr.  Xia was more than twice my grandmother's age.  One of the family trotted out an ancient saying: "A young wife who has an old husband is really another man's woman."
     
    What hurt Dr.  Xia more was the emotional blackmail especially the argument that taking an ex-concubine as a proper wife would affect his children's position in society.
     
    He knew his children would lose face, and he felt guilty about this. But Dr.  Xia felt he had to put my grandmother's happiness first.  If he took her as a concubine, she would not merely lose face, she would become the slave of the whole family.  His love alone would not be enough to protect her if she was not his proper wife.
     
    Dr.  Xia implored his family to grant an old man's wish.
     
    But they and society took the attitude that an irresponsible wish should not be indulged.  Some hinted that he was senile.  Others told him: "You already have sons, grandsons, and even a great-grandson, a big and prosperous family.  What more do you want?  Why do you have to marry her?"
     
    The arguments went on and on.  More and more relatives and friends appeared on the scene, all invited by the sons.  They unanimously pronounced the marriage to be an insane idea.  Then they turned their venom against my grandmother.
     
    "Marrying again when her late husband's body and bones are not yet cold!"
     
    "That woman has it all worked out: she is refusing to accept concubine status so that she can become a proper wife.  If she really loves you, why can't she be satisfied with being your concubine?"
     
    They attributed motives to my grandmother: she was scheming to get Dr. Xia to marry her, and would then take over the family and ill-treat his children and grandchildren.
     
    They also insinuated that she was plotting to lay her hands on Dr. Xia's money.  Underneath all their talk about propriety, morality, and Dr.  Xia's own good, there was an unspoken calculation involving his assets.  The relatives feared my grandmother might lay her hands on Dr. Xia's wealth, as she would automatically become the manageress of the household as his wife.
     
    Dr.  Xia was a rich man.  He owned 2,000 acres of farmland dotted around the county of Yixian, and even had some land south of the Great Wall.  His large house in the town was built of gray bricks stylishly outlined in white paint.  Its ceilings were whitewashed and the rooms were wallpapered, so that the beams and joints were concealed, which was considered an important indicator of prosperity.
     
    He also owned a flourishing medical practice and a medicine shop.
     
    When the family saw they were getting nowhere, they decided to work on my grandmother directly.  One day the daughter-in-law who had been at school with her paid a call.  After tea and social chitchat, the friend got around to her mission.  My grandmother burst into tears, and took her by the hand in their usual intimate manner.  What would she do if she were in her position, she asked.  When she got no reply, she pressed on: "You know what being a concubine is like.  You wouldn't like to be one, would you?
     
    You know, there is an expression of Confucius: "Jiang-xinbi-xin Imagine my heart was yours"!"  Appealing to someone's better instincts with a precept from the sage sometimes worked better than a direct no.
     
    The friend went back to her family feeling quite