Wings by Terry Pratchett Read Free Book Online Page A

the floor. There's a lot of humans out there. A lot of humans."
    "There always are," sighed Gurder.
    "Some of them are holding up signs with names on them." "That's just like humans," Gurder added.
    The nomes were used to humans with signs. Some of the humans in the Store used to wear their names all the time. Humans had strange long names, like Mrs. J. E. Williams Supervisor and Hello My Name Is Tracey. No one knew why humans had to wear their names. Perhaps they'd forget them otherwise.
    "Hang on," said Masklin. "This can't be right. One of them is holding up a sign saying RICHARD ARNOLD. We're walking toward it! We're talking to it!" The deep muffled rumble of the human voice rolled above the nomes like thunder.
    Hoom-voom-boom?
    Foom-hoom-zoom-boom.
    Hoom-zoom-boom-foom?
    Boom!
    "Can you understand it, Thing?" said Masklin.
    "Yes. The one with the sign is here to take our human to a hotel. It's a place where humans sleep and are fed. All the rest of it is just the things humans say to each other to make sure that they 're still alive."
    "What do you mean?" said Masklin.
    "They say things like 'How are you' and 'Have a nice day' and 'What do you think of this weather, then?' What these sounds mean is: I am alive and so are you."
    "Yes, but nomes say the same sorts of things, Thing. It's called getting along with people. You might find it worth a try."
    The bag swung sideways and hit something. The nomes clung desperately to the insides. Angalo clung with one hand. He was trying to keep his place in the book.
    "I'm getting hungry again," said Gurder. "Isn't there anything to eat in this bag?"
    "There's some toothpaste."
    "I'll give the toothpaste a miss, thanks."
    Now there was a rumbling noise. Angalo looked up. "I know that sound," he said. "Infernal combustion engine. We're in a vehicle."
    "Again?" said Gurder.
    "We'll get out as soon as we can," said Masklin.
    "What kind of truck is it, Thing?" said Gurder.
    "It is a helicopter."
    "It's certainly noisy," said Gurder, who had never come across the word.
    "It is a plane without wings," said Angalo, who had.
    Gurder gave this a few moments' careful and terrified thought.
    "Thing?" he said, slowly.
    "Yes?" "What keeps it up in the -" Gurder began.
    "Science."
    "Oh. Well. Science? Good. That's all right, then."
    The noise went on for a long time. After a while it became part of the nomes' world, so that when it stopped the silence came as a shock.
    They lay in the bottom of the bag, too discouraged even to talk. They felt the bag being carried, put down, picked up, carried again, put down, picked up one more time, and then thrown onto something soft.
    And then there was blessed stillness.
    Eventually Gurder's voice said: "All right. What flavour toothpaste?" Masklin found the Thing among the heap of paper clips, dust, and screwed up bits of paper at the bottom of the bag.
    "Any idea where we are, Thing?" he said.
    "Room 103, Cocoa Beach New Horizons Hotel," said the Thing. "I am monitoring communications."
    Gurder pushed past Masklin. "I've got to get out," he said. "I can't stand it in here any more Give me a leg up, Angalo. I reckon I can just reach the top of the bag." There was the long, drawn-out rumble of the zipper. Light flooded in as the bag was opened. The nomes dived for whatever cover was available.
    Masklin watched a hand taller than he was reached down, close around the smaller bag with the toothpaste and flannel in it, and pull it out.
    The nomes didn't move.
    After a while there came the distant sound of rushing water.
    The nomes still didn't move.
    Boom-boom foom zoom-boom-boom, choom zoom hoooom...
    The human noise rose above the gushing. It echoed even more than normal.
    "It... sounds like it's... singing?" whispered Angalo.
    Hoom... hoom-boom-boom boom... zoom-hoomboom HOOOooooOOOmmm. Boom.
    "What's happening, Thing?" Masklin hissed.
    "He has gone into a room to have water showering on himself," said the Thing.
    "What does it want to do that for?"
    "I