Witch's Business by Diana Wynne Jones Read Free Book Online Page A

eyes blinked whitely over at her. Then Biddy Iremonger came ambling cheerfully out through the door, still wearing her sack.
    â€œYes?” she said merrily. “Somebody knocking for me?”
    â€œMe,” said Vernon. “Us.”
    â€œAh, good morning,” said Biddy. “Vernon Wilkins, isn’t it?” She took no notice of Jess at all. “Now what do you want, young man?”
    â€œPlease,” Vernon answered politely, “I would like to buy back the tooth Buster Knell gave you. How much is it, please?”
    Biddy put her glasses straight with a big purple hand and peered at Vernon through them. She chuckled. “I don’t see much wrong with your face, young man. I don’t believe it was your tooth at all. Whose was it?”
    â€œIt belonged to my brother Silas,” Vernon admitted, shifting about rather. “And I’d like it back, please.”
    Biddy chuckled so merrily that her plaits leaped and shook. “Oho!” she said. “So that’s it, is it? Now we have it. Wilkins’s tooth! Oh, my dear Vernon, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. And what sort of shape is your brother’s face in today, may I ask?”
    â€œIt’s all swollen,” said Vernon.
    â€œAnd it hurts him, you can see,” said Jess, who thought Biddy was being maddening. “So could you tell us how much it is, please? And how to take it off him.”
    Biddy took no notice of her. She said to Vernon, “So now you’re sorry, I suppose?”
    â€œYes. Very,” said Vernon. “Can we have the tooth, please?”
    â€œWell, you may ,” said Biddy. “But can you? Can you? That’s the question, Vernon Wilkins, that you have to ask yourself. Can you give me anything as valuable as Buster gave me to charm your brother’s tooth for him? What can you give?” She asked the last question very sharply and greedily indeed, and peered first at Vernon, then at Jess.
    Both of them backed away a step. “Three watches,” said Jess.
    â€œAnd fifty pence,” said Vernon.
    Biddy shook her head as if she thought this was very funny.
    â€œTwo bracelets as well,” said Jess.
    â€œAnd a tiepin,” said Vernon. “Looked like gold.”
    â€œOh, it is,” said Jess.
    Biddy wrapped her sack firmly around her and shook her head again. “No,” she said. “I’ve all the gold I need, thank you.”
    â€œThen what did Buster give you?” Vernon asked. Jess could see he was three-quarters scared and the rest maddened, just as she was.
    Biddy raised a fat purple finger. “Listen,” she said. “Listen. Nine tailors make a man, they say. Now, I have nine times nine—or will have—and, believe me, they shall dance the Nine Men’s Morris before they’re through. Can you offer me nine again? Or ten?”
    â€œI don’t understand,” said Vernon.
    â€œI haven’t the vaguest idea what you’re talking about,” said Jess.
    â€œThen that’s your bad luck, my dears,” said Biddy. “I won’t part with the tooth for less. Your brother will just have to get used to his new face.”
    â€œHow can you be so horrible?” said Jess. “He’s only little.”
    â€œThe size of him doesn’t concern me,” said Biddy, and she began to go back into her hut.
    Vernon and Jess both called out to stop her.
    â€œBeast!” said Jess.
    â€œSee,” shouted Vernon, “I had no teeth of my own. How was I to know you’d do this with it? You give me some idea how I can get it back.”
    Biddy stopped. “I have,” she said. “Only you’re too dim-witted to understand. And I’m not going to stand here all morning spelling it out. I’ve better things to do. Maybe Buster will tell you, if you ask him nicely.” She chuckled at the idea.
    â€œPlease, ” Jess said