Without Looking Back by Tabitha Suzuma Read Free Book Online

or rather
Dad
, had suggested this bizarre game. Louis felt annoyed that Dad had said he had to lose 5p when all he’d been doing was help explain the concept to Millie, but he knew that his annoyance was a cover-up for a deeper, unsettled feeling that had begun in the pit of his stomach ever since they had left Dad’s flat two nights ago. He didn’t think that Dad was getting depressed again – his eyes weren’t glazed over with that empty look and his face didn’t have that hang-dog, exhausted expression. But there was definitely something strangeabout him. Ever since he had picked them up from school on Friday, he’d seemed wired, jittery, and his behaviour – snapping at them, leaving them cooped up in a hotel room, lying about the mobile phone, and now insisting that they stopped speaking French – was totally uncharacteristic. Louis suddenly felt very tired. He wished he could speak to Max about the phone call he had overheard the night before they left. His thoughts kept returning to it, prodding at it like a sore cut you just can’t leave alone. Could this be their last holiday with Dad? Would they really never be allowed to be alone with him again? And why had the judge ruled in Maman’s favour? Just because Dad had lost his job and stayed in bed for three weeks after the divorce didn’t mean he couldn’t be trusted with his own kids!
    They got off the blue line at a stop called South Harrow, and when they climbed the long flight of steps and emerged into the weak morning sunlight, there was a car waiting for them outside. A woman jumped out of the driver’s side and gave Dad a long fierce hug. Louis and Max exchanged startled glances.
    Then the woman stepped back and gazed at Louis, Max and Millie with a slow smile. ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe it,’ she said in a very English accent. ‘These are your children, Eddie?’
    â€˜Let’s get home and then we’ll do the introductions,’ Dad said, still sounding tense.
    The car journey lasted a good half-hour, and on the way, Louis noticed they passed several more tube stations, which made him wonder why they hadn’t got off at a closer one. Max was plugged into his earphones again and Millie was sucking her fingers – Louis noticed that there were violet shadows beneath her eyes. They parked in a small street outside a row of terraced houses, and Dad’s friend led them to a red door, then through a narrow hallway and into a kitchen. They all sat around a large chipped oak table, catatonic with exhaustion. The woman put on the kettle and set out a large plate of sandwiches shaped like triangles.
    Dad said, ‘Oh, Meg, it’s so kind of you to be doing this – you’ll never know how grateful I am . . .’
    And Meg said, ‘Don’t be silly, Eddie. You know I would do anything for you.’ She started pouring the tea. ‘It’s so lovely to see you again, and look at these beautiful children! Let me guess . . .’ She looked at Millie. ‘You must be Millie.’
    Millie smiled and nodded shyly, leaning in towards Max.
    Meg looked at Max and said, ‘And you must be Max – or is it Louis?’ She looked momentarily confused.
    â€˜I’m Max, I’m the eldest,’ Max said. ‘And he’s Louis.’ He pointed.
    â€˜Oh, they’ve got French accents, you never told me!’ Meg exclaimed.
    Max cheeks went pink and he scowled down at the table.
    â€˜Well I’m hoping they’ll acquire English accents as soon as possible,’ Dad said.
    Several sandwiches and strange chocolate jelly biscuits later, Millie had begun to thaw and was telling Meg in great detail about her kitten, Trésor. Dad was on his third cup of tea and beginning to look more relaxed. Max had taken his GameBoy out of his pocket and was playing it unashamedly at the table. Louis’ head felt so full of questions, it ached. He