Words by Ginny L. Yttrup Read Free Book Online Page A

reason, I'll go back. I know I need to find that little girl. There's more to this than appeasing Ruby.
    The whistling kettle calls. I close my journal and my mind. My decision is made. I won't think of it again until tomorrow.

CHAPTER FIVE
    Kaylee
    It's still dark outside when I wake up. I slept a little during the night after he came back and I was sure he was asleep in his room. He left the door open, and I can still hear him snoring.
    I lie back down, roll over on my side, and watch a sliver of light crawl up the wall. As I lay there, I plan my day. I'm going on a covert mission. co·vert—adjective 1. concealed; secret; disguised. After he leaves for work, I'll change my clothes. I decide I'll wear my K-Mart jeans—they look better. Although, since I'm going covert, it doesn't matter anyway. I reach up and run my hand over my matted hair. If I borrow his comb, maybe I could get some of the tangles out. As long as I get all the hair out of the comb, he'll never know I touched it. Oh, but just the thought of touching anything of his is so gross!
    I flop over onto my back. I don't know why I think she'll come back. I've been telling myself since yesterday that it's silly to think I'll see her again. But I have this feeling that I can't get rid of—like I'm supposed to go back and look for her. It's probably dumb, but it's the first time since my mom left that I feel like I have something I'm supposed to do—something to look forward to. My tummy flutters. That fluttery feeling is called having butterflies in your tummy. Another word for it is an·tic·i·pa·tion . The dictionary uses a bunch of big words to define it—expectation, foreknowledge, presentiment. But all it really means is that you're looking forward to something or you're excited about something.
    After awhile, I turn and look at the wall again and notice that the whole bottom half of the wall is now covered in light. Usually, by the time the light reaches the middle of the wall, he's up and getting ready to leave for work. As I lay there and watch the light inch its way toward the ceiling, the butterflies in my tummy flutter away.
    Maybe his schedule changed.
    Maybe he got fired again.
    Maybe he's too hungover to go to work.
    Whatever the reason, it looks like he's staying here.
    I feel like someone's taken one of the cinder blocks from the shelves and laid it on my chest, making breathing hard. A tear slides down my cheek. I remind myself that crying is for babies. What's wrong with me? She probably won't be there anyway.
    It was a stupid plan.
    The more I think about it, the worse I feel. Finally I decide that I need to think about something else—just like I do when thinking about my mom makes me feel too sad. I decide to play a game to keep my mind off my worries. I'll think of words I know that describe him. I'll pick one word for each letter of the alphabet.
    The first A word that comes to mind is one I'm not allowed to say. I can't even think it, because for me that's like saying it. But it's another word for donkey. I smile.
    For B, I choose Birdbrain. That's in the dictionary. It's slang for stupid. This is a good game.
    Creep.
    Dork.
    E is harder. It takes me longer to come up with something, but finally I remember a word from the dictionary. Erroneous. That means he smells bad, I think.
    Freak.
    Gross.
    Hateful.
    Idiot.
    Jerk.
    K stumps me.
    I roll over on my stomach and rest my head on my crossed arms while I think. I hear the springs squeak as he turns over in bed. After a minute, I hear him call me.
    "Kaylee, come here."
    I don't move.
    "Kaylee, get in here!"
    I get up and tiptoe to his room and stand in the doorway.
    "Cat got your tongue?" He laughs like he always does when he asks me that. "Fix me some breakfast. I bought some eggs and bread last night. They're out in the truck. Scramble a few. You can have one too—just don't eat 'em all. And don't burn the toast."
    I back out of the room, keeping an eye on him, then turn and run to