World’s End by Joan D. Vinge Read Free Book Online Page B

ache
in my throat. I stared out the wide windows at the sky. Pollution aurora marred
the perfect blue, a constant reminder of Kharemough’s overworked orbital industries—the price we paid for our leadership in the
Hegemony.
    “We must
notify thy mother. She will surely want to see thee once more ... if her work
will allow it.”
    I didn’t
answer, afraid that anything I said would be the wrong thing. Suddenly my chest
hurt. I recited an adhani under my breath. Mother had
gotten fed up with us all when I was only five. I could count on the fingers of
my hands the times I’d seen her since then. She spent her time on another
continent halfway around the world, leading archeological excavations of Old
Empire ruins .... I had heard so many times as a child
that I wasn’t to blame that I was sure it must somehow have been my fault. She
didn’t come home before I left Kharemough .
    “Are thou
certain this is the right course? After all, thou’re only a boy—” I saw the trembling of his
hands, which he usually controlled so well.
    “Father,
I’m nearly twenty standards. I already have more degrees than HK and SB put
together. I can’t spend the rest of my life studying, preparing for something—” For something I would never have. “I’m a grown man. And I’m not thy heir. It would be dishonorable for me to live
here any longer.” But more than that, living with my brothers had finally
become unbearable.
    “Scholarship
is a respected calling in its own right. Thou could at least remain here on Kharemough , and teach—”
    “No.” I bit
my lip, seeing the pain in his eyes. But the pain of staying would be far
worse.
    “Thou know
...” His mouth resisted the words. “.. thou know that
I’m not young. It’s true that thou’re last in line to inherit. But to leave Kharemough ...
If something were to happen to thy brothers—”
    “Nothing
will happen to them, Father “ If only it would! The violence of the thought almost blinded me. I blinked and glanced away,
afraid that he would read it in my eyes, and know .... “What could happen to them here?” With malicious spite, my mind showed me half
a dozen fatal possibilities.
    He shook
his head, leaning against the ancient mantelpiece below the picturescreen .
“What, indeed. A weakling and a parasite, left in control of our holdings when
I’m gone.” His hand clenched. “Thy mother has no interest in her
responsibilities here. And without thee to oversee—”
    “They won’t
listen to me when ... when HK is head of family. It’s better if I leave, better
for the family.”
    He sighed.
“If only SB had gone in thy place; as he should have, years ago. If only he had
been born with thy sense of honor, or HK with thy intelligence ....” He looked
up at me. “Or if thou had been born first.” His eyes held mine, searching.
    I took a
deep breath, suddenly finding the courage to say what I had never dared to say
before. “Father, I know the wisdom of the laws. They were intended to keep
society in the control of the ones most capable of running it well. But ... but
here in our family, they don’t... they don’t seem ...” I went on in a rush, “By
our sainted ancestors, Father, can’t thou disinherit them? It would be
justice—”
    “Enough!”
He pushed away from the mantel, rigid with anger. “You’ve said enough! It’s not
in my hands. You will not mention it again.”
    You. Not
thou. It stung like a slap. “Forgive me, Father.” I bowed, whispering, “I had
no right.” I kept my burning face averted. “May I have ... your permission to
leave you?”
    “No.”
    I started
as I felt his hands on my shoulders. I looked up into his dark eyes as clear as
garnets. He had been an old man when I was born, but now for the first time in
my life I saw that he was old.
    “Thou are
all I have that makes me proud,” he said, and he hugged me, for the first time
since my childhood. I was so surprised that I almost pulled away. “I would