Yellow (The Safeword Series, #2) by Ava Claire Read Free Book Online Page B

from the speakers. It drowned out the fear that I’d not only ruined my friendship with Peter, but was well on my way to ruining my career that had barely begun because escape was more important. Falling for some guy who'd only given me a letter to go by and probably would go to great lengths to ruin me when he realized who I was. Just let me dance. Let me go to a place that's far away from all this drama.
    The nudge became a pinch and I whirled in the direction of the person who clearly didn't get the message the first time. Lindsay was standing there, shining as brightly as a kaleidoscope with her wild hair tucked beneath a floral scarf and her tiny frame wrapped in a highlighter yellow body con dress with fire engine red stilettos. There was nothing bright and cheery about her expression as she gave me a once over and gripped my hand, pulling me back to the scene of the crime. The music spilled onto the balcony, but her words came through loud and clear.
    “You told him.”
    I knew she was just trying to be a good friend, but the wound was still raw. Talking about this wouldn't change anything and if I had a choice between recapping the way Peter had changed before my very eyes or dancing until my feet screamed and my memory was dulled by sangria, guess which option I was picking?
    “Can we talk about this later?” I pleaded. In fact, I turned back toward the door. “I've got to head to work soon and I think strutting into the club with red eyes and sucking back snot won't be sexy at all.”
    Lindsay didn't budge, but her voice stopped me in my tracks. “Nice try, but I'm not going to let you do that. I'm not gonna let you be me.”
    That made me angle back to her, my brow scrunched in confusion. “What?” I squinted, searching her face for the glazed look that meant she was buzzing and clearly talking out of her butt. “How much have you had to drink?”
    She perched her hands on her hips. “I work in a strip club, Soph. You think I don't know how to hold my liquor?”
    Good point. It still didn't explain the 'like me' comment.
    She nodded like she'd read my mind. “I guess I should explain, huh?” She gripped the rail and inhaled deep. When she exhaled,  she smiled like she could still feel the city in her lungs. I knew that she didn't care that we lived in a shoebox and didn't have a view or any of the things I focused on. To her, she could see the lights in the distance, a future filled with jet setting and couture gowns and stories about the tiny apartment she used to live in and how every rotation on that pole pushed her closer to her big break.
    “You know how I feel about life. I live it out loud, with little to no concern about who I piss off and the bridges that I burn because of the choices I make.” She drummed her nails on the railing. “With all these people here, you'd think I had countless friends. 90% of the people in there? I'd be lucky if I could remember their first names. I surround myself with people because it makes me feel less alone. Because when it's quiet and I'm by myself, when the music stops playing and the dancing stops, I have to listen to the voice in my head that's my own worst enemy. And then I start wondering if I made a terrible mistake moving to the city, and what if I just become another actress with a dream that never comes true? So I close my eyes, and I dance so hard that nothing else matters.” She cast her dark eyes at me. “That's not you. Connection matters to you. Peter matters to you-”
    “But not in a way that matters to him,” I interrupted. “I was honest with him and I just don't see him that way-”
    “Because you met someone at the club?”
    I froze, like I'd been caught.
    “Jesus, Sophia, you're not in trouble,” Lindsay laughed, shaking her head. “You think you're the first woman who fell in lust, then it tumbled into love?”
    “I am not in-” I didn't bother finishing because I realized that the look on her face was one of someone who'd