Yiddishe Mamas by Marnie Winston-Macauley Read Free Book Online Page A

archetype.
    Then, in the 1970s came Rhoda Morgenstern (played by non-Jew Valerie Harper), Mary’s best gal pal on
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
When
Rhoda
spun off, enlarging the role of her Jewish mama, Ida Morgenstern (Nancy Walker), the change from warmhearted shtetl mom started. The turbulent 1960s that pitted parent against child while bringing new world abundance to the Jewish mother became a part of prime-time TV, film, and books. The result was a reinvention of the Jewish mother, who, born or raised in America, was portrayed as a mélange of nurturing and devouring, manipulative, pushy, judgmental, demanding, insufferable—and “loving.” The message was clear: Children were locked in mama-prison and their attempts to break out brought the laughs. Big ones.
    As second bananas, the Jewish mother proved the perfect foil for their “long-suffering” children in shows such as
Mad About You, Seinfeld, Will and Grace,
and
The Nanny.
    Sylvia (Renee Taylor), Fran Fine’s mother in
The Nanny,
is the quintessential pain in the
tuchus
(behind) with her all-consuming interest in: her daughter getting married, food, and greed. Guilt … constant one-line guilt, was the MO, as “Sylvia,” when thwarted, asked “Fran” to, among other things, feel her for lumps.
    More, even her
stereotype
was flawed. Not only was she tasteless and tactless, most attempts at the redeeming moment between mother and child just weren’t, well, believable as the formula was objectifying and the quick joke.
    In Sylvia’s world, for example, greed came before kidfirst. In one episode, when it was thought there was a baby mix-up at the hospital, she was willing to give up her daughter to a classy Black woman—with money.
    This would never happen.
    “T HE TV STEREOTYPE IS UNFAIR,
EXAGGERATED, UNBALANCED,
EMBARRASSING, RIDICULING, AND
EXTREME,” SAYS B LU G REENBERG. “O N
THE OTHER HAND, THEY CAN’T TAKE AWAY
WHAT WE’VE ACHIEVED—THE VALUES OF
THE J EWISH MOTHER.”
    In
Seinfeld,
there was no attempt at redemption with George Constanza’s mother, played by the marvelous Estelle Harris. The same is true of the Jewish mothers (Susie Essman, among others) in
Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Larry David takes no prisoners in his group. They’re all equal opportunity obnoxious, pretentious, paranoics, doomed to view life as universal
mishegoss,
and meet it mouth-on, with their own
Mega-mishegoss.
    The exception (on TV) was
Brooklyn Bridge
(1991), set in the 1950s, that showed Jewish mothering and grand-mothering as bountiful, beloved, and balanced. Sadly, few wanted to watch beyond a few seasons.
    Today, the Jewish mother media stereotype has become the prototype for mothers of all stripes.
    Mama-bashing is now universal. If these women aren’t actually vipers, then many fall into the “Smart Wife Saves Tuchus of Stupid Male” category.
    Most notable is Lord of the Wimps, Ray Barone: OK, he’s a harmless guy but no hero. Why? Because, he’s been “fixed,” neutered, by “Everybody [Who] Loves” him. Mostly … the moms.
    Ethnic moms, especially those of Italian descent, such as Marie Barone, are hard hit. Marie sets a new standard for the maternal stereotype as part harridan, part wolf, who acts with a vengeance— that “comes from love.” Ray’s put-upon wife, Debra, while far more aware, also grows a few unflattering fangs, coming out of most frays with “Wife Knows Best” tattooed on Ray’s psyche.
    Black moms, on the other hand, have faired better, thanks to Bill Cosby’s influence. Claire Huxtable is the very soul of the modern mom, who can balance her law career while raising five children with a firm (if not sarcastic) hand in place. Child-first, this is a professional family with the affluence to provide for their brood.
The Jeffersons
and
Good Times
portray the wise matriarch, who, again, is both peacemaker and the conscience of the family.
    Even the WASP mother (the perennial back-seated and obedient June Cleaver) is no longer