This outfit would stay in this room,
just for myself. Even my family wouldn’t see it entirely; if I had
leave my room for any reason, I’d grab one of my dad’s old
university hoodies that fell almost to my knees. Dad was
excessively tall and although his sweaters usually fell to his
waist, on anyone else in our family it looked more like a dress
instead.
I glanced at the alarm clock beside my bed.
It was only 3:00; four hours until dinnertime, four hours that I
had to entertain myself in this room because I just didn’t have it
in me to leave my room and begin the interrogation again.
The fight in me was gone. All gone.
I just wanted to be left alone.
For the next hour, I listened to my iPod
shout songs about moving away, going away, escaping, life
beginning, and love happening. I stared up at my blank ceiling and
imagined scenes play out as if it were my own personal movie
theatre.
Today’s movie was a new one, although it
started like all the others. A skinny version of myself was wearing
a beautifully stunning outfit. But then it changed. I was on a
balcony and he was climbing up over the side. James stood in front
of me, leaning in to kiss me for the second time.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered in my ear,
his hug engulfing me. “You’re perfect.”
My arms circled his shoulders and he lifted
me up. He twirled me around like he’d never been so happy in his
life.
I grinned like a fool as I imagined the
scenario.
Yeah, that’s a nice
one .
Chapter 4
Beep. Beep.
I turned the volume down on my iPod. I
thought I heard something beep.
Beep. Beep.
I took my earphones out and tossed my iPod
across my bed as I stretched to grab my phone off my desk without
leaving the bed.
New message from: Unknown
I scrolled down and checked the number. I
didn’t recognize it.
My heart began to palpitate; panic flowed
inside me, exciting every nerve ending in my body to the point
where my palms became sweaty and my knees felt weak. Normally I’d
only get texts from Jenna, but her number was on my contacts
list.
Could it be…? No…
I took a deep breath and opened the
message.
From: Unknown
Fireball, is it you?
‘ Fireball!’ Oh my
God!
The tips of my fingers moved without notice;
I’d gone to heaven and the euphoric state that met me there cast a
spell on my brain, detaching it from my body – I was floating high
in the sky.
From: Me
Tiger!
This was the moment a beautiful love song
about change would play loudly and only I could hear it. Everything
in my room would change color, turning shades of pink and gray. My
things would levitate and I’d float up and dance around with them.
That’s how I felt at that moment. Puppies and rainbows!
I grinned widely, a fool’s smile, as I
pressed ‘Send’. Two seconds later when I heard my phone beep, my
face felt as if it could break in half. Happiness blossomed, it
escaped from the steel trap I had locked away deep in my heart, the
heart I had to lock away because my family was always trying to
break it for their own self-righteous purposes. The time of their
selfish ways was officially over
From: Unknown
Yeah, baby, it’s me.
‘ Baby!’ I could die!
I went to my contacts and changed ‘unknown’
to ‘Tiger.’ It just seemed to fit and I had a feeling I was known
as ‘Fireball’ under his contacts.
From: Me
Do you have me as Fireball in your
contacts?
From: TIGER
Your sweet, you know that. Yes. You happy
with that?
I’m sweet? I didn’t know
that!
My fingertips moved across the keypad quickly
as I texted back.
From: Me
Of course! It kinda grew on me.
Pure elation. The clouds parted and the sun
came out shining. All for me.
From: TIGER
When u work next?
If I could have jumped up and down on my bed,
I would have. I would have shouted at the top of my lungs,
announcing to everyone who was unhappy and depressed that it was
all going to be okay, that they just had to tough it out for a
little longer. Happiness was