Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This by Blue Sullivan Read Free Book Online

interesting consistency, which adds a peculiar “yes, but…” to the previous paragraph. Although you don’t want to pick your exact opposite (all four traits contrary), socionics says that your ideal mate should have three of four traits different from yours, but that you must have the same fourth trait: judging/perceiving.
    If this seems nonsensical, think about your past relationships. What is more frustrating than arguing with someone who refuses to acknowledge the “rules” of the argument? If you’re highly logical, nothing is more maddening than arguing with someone you would describe as “touchy-feely.” While you’re making a perfectly good point about why you can’t afford a more expensive apartment, he’s accusing you of never honoring his desires. You aren’t having one argument, you’re having two, and you could have them for all eternity without the two intersecting. A difference in this one basic trait (judging/perceiving) almost naturally dooms any consistent, mutually-satisfying conflict resolution for the length of your relationship.
    Think about one of the most popular clichés concerning the difference between men and women. Women just want someone for airing out their problems, someone to listen. Because of their manly nature, men assume there is no point to hearing a problem unless the point is securing a solution. To men (or rather “men” in this clichéd scenario), it’s the difference between plugging a leak and sitting under it while complaining about how wet you’re getting. “Men” don’t understand that “women” want to engage in the simple act of unburdening their grievances. A scenario in which this difference remains constant would prove to be endlessly frustrating to both partners and, ultimately, due cause for a split.
    We will explore this topic a little more in the next chapter and help you begin to ask the questions that really matter in finding a partner for life.
     

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Seven
     
     
    Tapping Into Your Private Dick
     
    In the last chapter, I presented a loose outline of a more useful model for helping you determine compatibility with a potential mate.
    Y es, but how on Earth does that help me weed out the keepers from the douchebags? How do I casually suggest a man take an online personality test without sounding completely insane ?
    Don’t worry. You don’t need to see test results if you pay attention to the four core questions presented in the previous chapter. The answers to these simple questions can be surprisingly important and revealing. Let’s talk a bit more about each.
     
    Do you prefer the company of a group, or do you prefer to be alone?
     
    This question simplifies the “extrovert/introvert” distinction. Basically, if you prefer the company of others to being alone, you land in the extrovert camp. If not, you’re an introvert. Very few people will fall completely into one camp or the other. My friend Stephanie describes herself as a staunch introvert—socially awkward and even a little panicky in groups of strangers. However, I’ve also seen her shine in those seemingly difficult situations. For many people, it’s a matter of the circumstances. Although I’ve described Stephanie as a “closet extrovert” (a description she flatly denies), the truth is that she’s more often a wallflower than the life of the party.
    Determining whether someone is an extrovert or introvert isn’t hard. People reveal themselves by just describing what they like to do on weekends. Can’t wait to get off work and meet your friends for a drink every Friday afternoon? Extrovert. Can’t wait to curl up with a good book—like this one, for instance? Introvert.
     
    Do you trust your “hunches,” or do you distrust what you can’t see, hear, and feel?
     
    Another old cliché about the difference between the sexes is that women are intuitive and men are sensible. A male chauvinist would even describe women as