A Time to Gather by Sally John Read Free Book Online

emotional upheaval that had begun with their son-in-law’s departure, she had been harassed by a distinct sense of unease. Now, in the blink of an eye, it vanished, a drop of water exposed to a blast of desert heat.
    She peered up at him. “Something’s different about you.”
    He nodded as if in agreement and then shook his head.
    “Yes, no? What?”
    His chest heaved with a deep sigh. “It’s like a two-ton weight rolled off my back. But . . .” His voice caught. He whispered, “But getting rid of it nearly killed me.”
    Wordlessly, she leaned into him again.
    They held each other for a very long time.
    M ax, it’s near midnight. Save your stories for tomorrow.” Claire handed him a mug of hot tea.
    “No, I want to tell you now.”
    Tucking her legs beneath herself, she sat down beside him on the love seat and glanced around the master suite. Logs burned in the fireplace, keeping the January chill at bay and cozying the room. “I like this room a lot.”
    “Yeah, it’s great. But I did notice you were in the kitchen when I got home.”
    She smiled. “And not in here behind bolted doors?”
    “Does that mean you did okay being all alone at night?”
    “I did fine.” She smiled. “Just me, the howling coyotes and mountain lions, and my violin. I played up a storm.”
    “I knew you could do it.”
    Max wasn’t gone much anymore. Business travel seldom occurred. His parents were only a holler away down the road. Still, though, her first few times alone at night in the sprawling hacienda set in the middle of hundreds of acres had unnerved her. It wasn’t so much that she was by herself or that Max was out of cellular phone reach. What sent chills down her spine were haunting memories of a night spent there narrowly escaping a wildfire.
    She winked. “Well, this place is, after all, a safe harbor. Especially when I’m on my knees.”
    He grinned. “Prayer makes a difference.”
    “Listen to us. It’s still hard to imagine, isn’t it? We pray about everything.” She exchanged a look of wonder with him.
    “And go to church without thinking about how to network with business contacts.”
    “And trust that God is right here with us.”
    “And confess to my kids what an idiot I’ve been for most of their lives. Or, as Erik would phrase it, a putz.”
    “I am so proud of you. Today you went to each one of them and asked for forgiveness.”
    “Well, it’s not like I had a choice. Once God gets hold of you and you realize how dead you were before, you don’t want to go back to being dead. Forward is the only direction.” He set the mug on an end table. “Forward meant clearing the air with them.”
    “And now you’re two tons lighter.”
    “Yes.” He rested his elbows atop his knees. “While I was driving to meet Lexi, I thought about the pastor’s sermon last week. Remember he talked about how we need to examine our beliefs?”
    “Vaguely.”
    “He said what we believe about ourselves—whether it’s true or false, conscious or not—determines our emotions and our behavior.”
    “Mm-hmm.”
    “I realized my actions toward the kids shaped their beliefs about themselves. My absence must have communicated that they weren’t important, that they didn’t count as people. Isn’t that awful? I mean . . .” He rubbed his forehead. “That is so despicable. What right did I have to . . .” A choking sound overtook his voice.
    “Oh, hon. We all make mistakes.”
    “Claire, don’t let me off the hook. Lexi, Danny, and Jenna all tried to let me off, saying I did my best. Granted, I’m not totally responsible, but my impact on them was huge. I’m their dad, for crying out loud.”
    She reached over and touched his damp cheek. “Their loving dad who asked for forgiveness.”
    “Yeah. It didn’t seem to be a big deal to any of them, though.”
    “It was, Max. Trust me. It had to be.” She moved into his arms, her head on his chest, and let him cry.
    His stories could wait.
    M ax again