Deadly Expectations by Elizabeth Munro Read Free Book Online

around me and I let my head rest on his shoulder.
    “The road out front filled with the sound of motorcycles.   I ran out … those fuckers who hurt you were back and I wanted my piece.   I don’t think I ever ran so fast, there was still dust in the air from their crash.   Lieutenant Wells pointed one of them out to me running for it, they had the others.”
    I could hear his voice tighten as he went on and his other arm went around me.   I tensed not knowing why.
    “He ran between the sheds and I flattened him with every ounce I had.   He screamed like a girl and I heard his head hit the ground, felt him flatten underneath me.   I slammed my elbow in his face but he wasn’t going anywhere … got my knife out … ready to make him pay for what he did to you.   I started to drive it to his throat … and I was alone on the ground as my knife sunk into the dirt and your scent filled my nose.”
    His hand went up and wiped his eyes.
    “The bikes were gone … the three who came with you were gone.   You were gone.   I ran back to the house and you were still passed out.
    “It was me Sugar.   I didn’t listen.   I’m the one who hurt you, I know it.”  
    I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at him.   “I remember the pain and the knife in the moonlight,” I admitted.   “I didn’t see your face … then I was alone and the sun was up.   I pushed myself behind the barrels and woke up here in your bed.”
    Paul let me go and moved away a bit.
    “Are you afraid of me?”   He sounded so small.   His guilt rolled in to me in waves.   I took his elbow as I turned to him carefully putting one knee to his side and swinging the other over.   An involuntary gasp from the movement hurt my side more than the movement did.   I straddled him, not too close and pulled his face to mine.
    “You were protecting me,” I told him.
    “I tried to kill you.”
    “Would you ever lay a hand on me?” I asked and he shook his head.   “Then how could you try to kill me?   You were trying to protect me.”
    He met my eyes briefly and nodded, seeming to relax a bit.
    “How did it happen?”
    “It was Vancouver ,” I told him.   “Two weeks after we met.”
    Disappointment spread over his face.   After telling me his crazy story he obviously wanted to hear something other than what he’d heard already.   “But more days have passed for me than for you.   You saw some of those hours yourself.   To you I didn’t get hurt until after you and Ray treated me.”
    “How?” he asked again, whispering.
    I leaned on Paul to rest a bit and wrapped my arms around his head.   “When I left you to go home the day after we met I rode west.   It didn’t take long to decide I would jump home.   That’s what I call it.   I waited for dark.   I’m never sure where I’ll wind up so it feels safer.
    “Every season being out in the open gets harder.   I can feel something up there, pressing on me.   Agoraphobia is a fine thing for a nomad on a motorcycle.
    “I knew I’d be just as exhausted if I jumped as if I rode straight through.   At least I’d be spared the days of fear.   I don’t think I made a single trip anywhere last summer without jumping home.”
    Paul reached around my butt and pulled me close.
    “When it got dark I started to set it up,” I said as I straightened up so I could keep an eye on his reaction.   He just listened and I was fine with that.   “I picture where I want to be.   I think it’s emotional.   I have to really want to be there.   Pressure starts low in my back as I let desperation for the place take over.   It climbs and as it gets into my shoulders I get pushed around.”
    His hands worked their way up my back as I talked and I felt my tension disappear, not build like I described.   He wanted to believe me.   I shifted my hips on him needing to be much closer than I was and he leaned back kissing my chin in response.
    “Mm,” my voice lowered.