Faith Hope and Love (A Homespun Romance) by Geeta Kakade Read Free Book Online

asked himself why Rachel Carstairs was no longer interested in Gordie.  It was too quick a switch to make sense.  Hauling a deep breath of air into his lungs he let it out slowly.  Trying to understand her was like trying to gather a fistful of cobwebs.
    In the few seconds she had stood in the doorway he was reminded of a child play acting again.  The scent of lavender had teased his nostrils and her ey es had looked like tar pits.  He hadn't missed the quiver of her lips or the way she had sidled past the sleeping bag.  Hannah's baggy gown was much too large for her, which wasn't surprising since the housekeeper was at least a hundred pounds heavier.  The scrubbed shiny look brought to mind the littlest angel in a recent television show.  With a halo that was definitely askew.
    "Don't you want to spend a while here, get to know Gordie?" 
    Hannah's oft spoken, stern reminder to him and Rob all through their teens, came to mind.  A gentleman didn't pester a lady.  Only he wasn't ready to be gentlemanly about this.  There was something unreal about Rachel Carstairs.  Something that got past his veneer of civilization and touched a primitive core he hadn't known existed.
    "No."  The treble intensified, the knuckles showed white against the mug.
    "Why not?"
    She had to say something to shut him up.  Once and for all.  Truth popped out.  "It'll be easier this way."
    So, that was it.  Rachel Carstairs didn't want to risk getting attached to Gordie.  But why?  The judge's decision had freed her to pursue the work she loved and visit Gordie as often as she liked.  Unless...Luke wondered if she had decided half a loaf was no good.  If she couldn't have it all she wanted nothing.  He frowned.  No, he didn't think that was it.  There had been that odd rasp in her voice again that he was beginning to recognize as a sign of stress.  The only other explanation was that Rachel was afraid of getting involved with the child now.  Afraid of loving.
    She put her mug back on the tray wiped her milk moustache off with the back of her hand, slipped back into bed, and switched off the light.  Luke lay back and laced his fingers under his head. 
    In half an hour the house would come to life.  Gordie always woke at six.  It was usually his chirrups that started Luke's day.  They shared the first half hour of the day together.  Right after his first bottle Gordie was at his best. 
    If anyone had told Luke six months ago that a baby's gurgling and cooing could make such a difference to a day he would have thought them insane.  Now it was the only way to start the day.
    No vice presidency could ever take precedence over his soon-to-be son in deed.  The child represented his brother's dreams.  A sacred trust.  Anything else came second.  The ranch was the best place for the boy to grow up.  A child needed fresh air, open spaces.  There had been no regret, no futile reluctance.  Making decisions had always been easy for him. 
    Until now.  Until Rachel Carstairs.
    He could let her go like she wanted to.  But inside him was this deep powerful tide of feeling that told him he wasn't going to. 
    Luke sighed and looked over in her direction.  She was a mere slice in that big bed.  He could barely make her out.  As usual her stillness bothered him.  It was as if she felt that by being quiet the world would pass her by instead of picking on her.  Somewhere along the line, Rachel had to have suffered badly.  He intended to do something about it.
    "Penny for them?"
    He knew she was awake.  Never any good at pretense, Rachel cleared her throat.  Dawn offered gentle encouragement, lighting outlines not details.  What she had to say needed that camouflage.  Her face was always a dead giveaway.
    "I'll leave an address where you can reach me.  If ever anything happens to change your mind about Gordie, let me know."  She was proud of her voice.  Impersonal, cool, brisk.  "In town tomorrow I'll open a joint