Going to Meet the Man by James Baldwin Read Free Book Online

determined to catch Sylvia alone and remained where he was with Roy. “Well, make it snappy,” he said; and sprawled, full length, on the grass.
    As soon as he was alone his pace slackened; he leaned his forehead against the bark of a tree, shaking and burning as in the teeth of a fever. The bark of the tree was rough and cold and though it offered no other comfort he stood there quietly for a long time, seeing beyond him—but it brought no peace—the high clear sky where the sun in fading glory traveled; and the deep earth covered with vivid banners, grass, flower, thorn and vine, thrusting upward forever the brutal trees. At his back he heard the voices of the children and the saints. Heknew that he must return, that he must be on hand should David at last outwit Sister Daniels and present her daughter with the golden butterfly. But he did not want to go back, now he realized that he had no interest in the birthday present, no interest whatever in Sylvia—that he had had no interest all along. He shifted his stance, he turned from the tree as he turned his mind from the abyss which suddenly yawned, that abyss, depthless and terrifying, which he had encountered already in dreams. And he slowly began to walk, away from the saints and the voices of the children, his hands in his pockets, struggling to ignore the question which now screamed and screamed in his mind’s bright haunted house.
    It happened quite simply. Eventually Sister Daniels felt the need to visit the ladies’ room, which was a long ways off. Brother Elisha remained where he was while Roy and David, like two beasts crouching in the underbrush, watched him and waited their opportunity. Then he also rose and wandered off to get cold lemonade for Sylvia. She sat quietly alone on the green rise, her hands clasped around her knees, dreaming.
    They walked over to her, in terror that Sister Daniels would suddenly reappear. Sylvia smiled as she saw them coming and waved to them merrily. Roy grinned and threw himself on his belly on the ground beside her. David remained standing, fumbling in his waistcoat pocket.
    “We got something for you,” Roy said.
    David produced the butterfly. “Happy birthday, Sylvia,” he said. He stretched out his hand, the butterfly glinted oddly in the sun, and he realized with surprise that his hand was shaking. She grinned widely, in amazement and delight, and took the pin from him.
    “It’s from Johnnie too,” he said. “I—we—hope you like it—”
    She held the small gold pin in her palm and stared down at it; her face was hidden. After a moment she murmured, “I’m sosurprised.” She looked up, her eyes shining, almost wet. “Oh, it’s wonderful,” she said. “I never expected anything. I don’t know what to say. It’s marvelous, it’s wonderful.” She pinned the butterfly carefully to her light blue dress. She coughed slightly. “Thank you,” she said.
    “Your mother won’t mind, will she?” Roy asked. “I mean—” he stammered awkwardly under Sylvia’s sudden gaze—“we didn’t know, we didn’t want to get you in any trouble—”
    “No,” David said. He had not moved; he stood watching Sylvia. Sylvia looked away from Roy and up at David, his eyes met hers and she smiled. He smiled back, suddenly robbed of speech. She looked away again over the path her mother had taken and frowned slightly. “No,” she said, “no, she won’t mind.”
    Then there was silence. David shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Roy lay contentedly face down on the grass. The breeze from the river, which lay below them and out of sight, grew subtly more insistent for they had passed the heat of the day; and the sun, moving always westward, fired and polished the tips of trees. Sylvia sighed and shifted on the ground.
    “Why isn’t Johnnie here?” she suddenly asked.
    “He went off somewhere,” Roy said. “He said he’d be right back.” He looked at Sylvia and smiled. She was looking at