Hint of Desire by Lavinia Kent Read Free Book Online

felt so safe here.”
    “Life with Lady Julia can not have been easy.”
    “She was a good mother. ” Lily thrust herself upright to sitting.
    “Oh, I didn’t mean to say that she wasn’t. She loved you quite plainly, now, didn’t she? But, she had other worries.”
    Lily was silent for a moment . She’d sought for so long to reconcile her childish perceptions with her understanding as a woman.
    “I know life could not have been easy for her.”
    Nanny sat back beside Lily on the bed. “I know only from rumor and gossip, but she gave up everything for your father. She was never intended for the younger son of a viscount.”
    “No, and they made her pay for it.”
    “Perhaps if he hadn’t died so soon it all would have ended much differently.”
    “But he did die, before I was even born. He deserted us both, left us to rely on strangers.”
    “Oh chickie, you sound so bitter.”
    Lily closed her eyes and lay back against the pillows. These were unwelcome memories.
    “Not bitter, but matter-of-fact. I know what to expect of men.” Lily fought back tears and the profound isolation that encompassed her even in the arms of this woman who had once mothered her. She could not afford to soften. She had a son to protect.
    Lily heard Nanny draw in a deep breath and release it slowly. “Not all men are like that. His grace is not.”
    “ Once I might have believed you, but life has taught me otherwise.”
    “Nonsense, child . Regardless of the past, he is a good and strong man, you may rely on it.” Nanny rose from the bed and, gathering the dirty linens, headed for the door. As she reached the doorframe she turned back. “I can see that you are worn out. Go to sleep now, and everything will be brighter in the morning.”
    “Please don’t tell him.” Lily whispered the words, but Nanny was already gone.
     
    The next day, Lily felt as if the large, fluffy bed had finally swallowed her up. With her returning strength came an increase in anxiety and a desperate craving to run. What if Nanny told Westlake? Any inquiry would bring the searchers, bring her nightmare.
    But, h ow could she manage to get away, if she wasn’t even allowed out of bed? She couldn’t walk more than a step or two without some maid asking if it was wise, and telling her not to venture too much too soon. How would she ever escape if she couldn’t even stand without drawing a flood of attention?
    Only Nanny looked immune from the bother. Whenever the baby started to bellow, Nanny would sweep silently into the room and take charge. With Nanny’s competent assistance, the boy was cleaned and fed, and then, once everything was settled, Nanny would disappear again. Lily needed to be assured that Nanny would not tell Westlake all. She schemed to make Nanny her confederate and confidante, to learn what was happening and, perhaps, ask for help, but the untimely appearance of one or another of the housemaids always frustrated her overtures.
    Gertrude, the most irritating of this regiment, an amazingly cheerful girl, whom Lily would have liked in other circumstances, seemed never to leave . Gertrude’s incessant babble only interfered with Lily’s desperate calculations. She didn’t care that her hair was perfect for the new styles, or that she’d be able to disguise her not-yet-reedy waist with the latest fashion. She needed to find a way to leave.
    Westlake ’s assistance could not be hoped for. The cool precision of his manner gave no hint of the gentle young man she had once known. He had looked in again the previous evening, but, thankfully, had given no indication that Nanny had spoken to him, and refrained from asking further probing questions. Standing stiff and formal at the foot of the bed, he inquired after her health and that of her son, informed her that he had sent for a chaperone, and then departed. His remoteness left her chilled. It had taken all her courage not to burrow beneath the covers. The only bright side to his visit was