I've Had It Up to Here with Teenagers by Melinda Rainey Thompson Read Free Book Online Page B

we designate. The teenager goes to school and whatever activity or event other people depend upon him or her for (why punish the whole baseball team because my kid misbehaved?), but that’s all. His or her social life comes to a grinding halt. Sometimes, the kid gets to keep phone, television, or computer privileges, sometimes not. It depends on the nature and the magnitude of the crime. Was there premeditation? Was actual malice involved, or was it just a bonehead, spur-of-the-moment impulse? Was it a have-you-lost-your-mind choice or merely a what-were-you-thinking transgression?
    The downside for the rest of the family is that the gloomy, bad-tempered, grounded teen is confined to the house—where everyone lives. On more than one occasion, a grounded teen in our home has added time to his or her sentence by behaving poorly while still under house arrest. It happens. Some monkeys learn faster than others.
    Unlike most mamas, I do not allow grounded teenagers to lounge around. In my view, whatever the teen has done to result in a consequence of significance has caused harm to the family as a whole. The peace of the home has been disrupted—usually by screaming, at the very least. As a consequence, that teenager owes reparation to the family. In other words, the teen has some making up to do. My kids are assigned jobs when they are grounded. I’m not talking make-work either. I mean real work. We live in an old house. Something always needs work.
    We have three children and two parents in our family. Every day, more work needs to be done than two parents can possibly do, no matter what time we get up in the morning (while the teenagers who kept us up all night sleep in). Therefore, I always have a to-do list on my desk. On that list are small jobs and big jobs, dirty jobsand clean(ing) jobs, outside work and inside work, mindless tasks and you-must-be-smart-to-handle-this jobs. Every second that the grounded teen is not eating, sleeping, or going to school is time that can be spent working and improving the world around them. If I can’t think of anything appropriate (hasn’t ever happened and never will), I’ll farm my kids out to elderly neighbors like indentured servants. We’re all about giving back to the community.
    My kids have frequently been sentenced to spend the day polishing silver. I am especially quick to assign this punishment if we have a dinner party coming up soon. My kids have learned to be especially well behaved the day before a party. You’d be amazed how well those slim adolescent fingers can get into crevices with an old toothbrush to polish antique filigree. It’s good for them to learn a new life skill, silver polishing, while serving a sentence for misbehaving. I love to double-dip. It is twice as satisfying. The result: clean silver and a repentant, silver-savvy teen. It’s win-win.
    Another obvious choice for punishment is yard work. This is particularly helpful if your teen is vocal about how unfairly he or she believes the imposed consequence is. If he’s composing a letter to The Hague accusing you of crimes against humanity, tell him to take it outside. In the great outdoors, he can vent to the earth and sky to his heart’s content. It’s a cleansing exercise. Let him get it all out of his system while digging a hole for your new gardenia bush. You don’t have to listen.
    My kids can mow grass, plant flowers, trim borders, fertilize, and use the weed whacker and the blower. It is helpful to have a big job like yard work in your back pocket in case all the kids in your house misbehave at once or in the event they were all in on the same crime. If you want to make an especially memorable experience, I suggest the removal of a large bush or small tree. They’renot easy to dig up. It’s a dirty, sweaty job, even for an adult. It’s particularly daunting if the shovel is taller than the kid holding it. Keep a list of jobs stored