Sex Secrets of an American Geisha by Py Kim Conant Read Free Book Online

less her appearance than some indefinable presence that set her apart. She was poised, confident, funny, and charming. She would, I imagined, be any man’s perfect woman—sexy yet motherly. To me, as a woman, she had another face. We talked girl to girl, though she still gently, so that I hardly noticed, made sure that my glass was full and that I had everything I wanted. I was perfectly taken care of, in fact.
— Leslie Downer, author of Women of the Pleasure Quarters, writes of her meeting with an off-duty, Western-dressed geisha, Shuko 1
     
I t was a rainy day in 1985. At the L.A. City College library I saw a stu dent I liked. We had often passed each other on campus and said hi. I walked over to him and asked if he could give me a ride home. He said to me, almost angrily, “Are you insane? Why do you think that I am interested in you? You don’t act like a woman. Why would I care to talk to you?” I was shocked. In that moment I felt like a total loser. I was insulted and hurt. What else could be a worse way to hurt a woman than to say, essentially, “You are not a woman”? But that was the truth in men’s eyes. I was not seen or noticed as a woman. My niceness didn’t impress men. Inside, I knew I was a nice woman, but my outside appearance made men not even think of me as a woman. This was true because I wasn’t dressing and acting like a woman, and I was heavy and unattractive—not pretty, not sexy, and not feminine.
Unfortunately, even after that humiliating encounter in the library at age twenty-two, I didn’t decide that it was time for me do something about my lack of beauty, sexiness, and femininity until I was thirty-five, a full thir teen years later. I didn’t realize right away that I had to do something to help myself. I had been hurting myself by believing it didn’t matter how at tractive I was. Even that rude slap in the face in the library, and much more humiliation with other men, somehow didn’t wake me up to the fact that my lack of beauty and sexy femininity was keeping me from the relation ship success I so wanted.
Furthermore, it took me many years to learn that most men want to be the hunter, not the hunted. After much (negative) personal experience and a lot of reading, I finally realized I had to attract a Good Man to me, not stalk and ambush him, which had been my approach.
I can’t believe how out of touch I was with the reality of men, especially to have bought into the un truth that only what was inside (my kind person ality) should be enough to find love and marriage with a Good Man. As you develop yourself in your pursuit of love and marriage, Younger Sister, I want you to avoid being called an “ugly duckling,” as one man yelled at me as he retreated from my assault. Or, “not really a woman,” as another de scribed me to my face. I want you to attract Good Men to you, not to have to fend off nasty men’s nasty comments.
I should have known that instead of using all my energy to pursue a man, I needed to become attractive to a man and to let him pursue me. When I started to do something about my weight, my makeup and clothes, my acne, and my unfeminine ways, I noticed that men were paying me more attention.
Even if you are married or already in a committed relationship, Younger Sister, you still want to increase your Geisha Attractiveness. Similarly, the American Geisha who is currently seeking a husband should continue to work on her Geisha Attractiveness even after she marries, because the ulti mate objective is not simply to attract a Good Man and to marry him; the objective is to have a long, loving, happy, sexy marriage. We all need that spark of passion in our marriages, and your ongoing attention to your beauty and femininity (your Geisha Attractiveness) will ignite his ongoing hot desire for you.
     
The Power of Geisha Femininity
The Asian Geisha represents the epitome of femininity; as I’ve discussed, her whole professional life can be fairly summarized,