The Minotauress by Edward Lee Read Free Book Online

James. In fact, when Clemens aka Mark Twain had been the first fiction writer to officially submit a typed manuscript to a publisher, that manuscript had been prepared on an identical machine.
    Hot water from the sink was sufficient for his instant coffee, and he arranged his ashtray in a nearly religious ceremony. He took one bite of a Saltine, frowned, then put the whole box in the G.I. Joe trash can when he read that the Sell By date was June 1980. The idea of taking it back and asking for a refund simply wasn't serviceable.
    Music, he thought. Very light...  He turned on the old radio:
    "... in Milwaukee on North 25th Street, Building 1055, Unit 213, a gruesome scene unfolded before... "
    "... may have evaded police for the last five years... "
    "... when the employee of a chocolate factory was arrested by Milwaukee Police after a naked boy in handcuffs reported his abduction and... "
    "... confessed today that he lobotomized and even cannibalized  many of his unsuspecting victims... "
    What a world,  he thought. Between the news of this serial killer, he stumbled upon unacceptable country and western and, worse, hard rock. His stomach hitched when he heard, "I'm a freeeeeeeeeeeee biiiiiiiird... " Would he throw up in the G.I. Joe garbage can? Finally he found some layered violin work.
    He creaked back in the chair and sighed. Ahhhhhh. Archanglo Corelli, Concerto #8...
    Now, the Writer was ready.
    He carefully rolled in a sheet of Eagle-brand 25-pound bond paper, and typed:

    WHITE TRASH GOTHIC

    CHAPTER ONE

    He put his finger on the T key. It was unbidden, just as it needed to be. My Muse is flowing. Now... write the first sentence—
    There was a knock on the door. Oh, for pity's sake!  he whined. His Muse collapsed.
    " Yes? " he answered testily. Then he blinked and gulped.
    A voluptuous girl with hair the color of corn silk stood hip-cocked and grinning in the doorway. Bare-foot and bare-legged, she wore a faded denim skirt and a painfully tight pink T-shirt that read LICK BUSH IN ‘92!
    "Hi!" she said, naturally pronouncing the word hi as "Haa!" "I'se Nancy. My ma tolt me you was here."
    "You're... Mrs. Gilman's daughter?"
    "That's right."
    Staggering, he thought. Not only did some guy MARRY the woman who looks like Henry Kissinger, but he had SEX with her as well... But by the looks of this girl, she didn't get any of her mother's less complimentary genes. "Ah, well, it's very nice to meet you, Nancy, but, wow, I'm very busy... "
    "Oh, I'll only be a sec, see—" She cocked her hip to the other side, offering a blushing smile. "I gotta question, but... shucks, you might think it's dumb... "
    Oh, for pity's sake!  But he felt he had to be a gentleman and a positive role model. "No question is petty or without value, Nancy, except for the question stifled by reluctance."
    "Huh?"
    He sighed. "What's your question?"
    She rose up on her tiptoes for one bounce. "Can I blow you?"
    The Writer was waylaid. " What? "
    "Oh, and I mean fer free. We'se don't git busy ‘round here till later noways—"
    Mrs. Gilman... tricks out her own daughter...  
    "—and, gosh, I got this hankerin' ta suck yer willy on account of you're a famous writer—"
    The Writer rolled his eyes. "Really, I'm not that famous—"
    The insides of her knees rubbed as she cocked her hips back and forth, with the Naughty Schoolgirl grin. "See, I don't want ya ta think I'm trashy—"
    "Oh, I could never think that!"
    "—but, see, I'se'll just be all  twisted up if I don't gets a chance to taste yer cum... "
    The Writer glared. "Why on earth would you... "
    "Just wanna know if a writer's jism tastes like regular."
    This is bombast... But still, he considered the proposition for a blazing moment. After all, Stephen Crane's greatest creative influence had been a prostitute, and then he'd gone on to write The Red Badge of Courage and "The Open Boat." The Writer couldn't deny his gentility, a refinement born of erudition. "That's quite an offer, Nancy,