The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard by Shawn Wunjo Read Free Book Online

CHAPTER 1: GAY DICKS
    “FUCK YOU AND YOUR GOAT-LOVING
    ANALSAUSAGE FUCK FACTORY!” Lucifer Niggerbastard screamed, giving the shape in the window a double-handed flip-off. Mr. Moneyballs could go fuck himself.
    “Fucking goats.” Lucifer kicked a dented can off the sidewalk as he stomped away, ignoring the shit-brown images of grandmas fucking that smiled back at him from the label. “Fucking hate goats.” Working at the analsausage fuck factory as a packing boy in the assfudge department had always been just a job, a job he hated, but a job nonetheless.
    But then Mr. Moneyballs had brought in the goats.
    Lucifer drew the line at goats.
    “Always shitting all over the place, fucking the baby-skinners in their nippled sphincters.” He groaned. “Jesus Christ. Wetback niggers!”
    A passing sack of babyshit bounced past, aroma blossoming into the air as the piss-yellow sun caught its mottled face. “Hey Lucifer!” It said. “How’s my favorite Niggerbastard today? You look like you’ve had the gayest day ever to be a day!”
    “It’s been the gayest day in the history of gay days!” Lucifer threw up his hands, screamed at the blueballs sky. “Its been so gay, even dicks in asses and touching balls covered in chink-flip asslube couldn’t match it for gayness!”
    “Wow!” Said the sack of babyshit. “That’s pretty fucking gay!”
    “You have no fucking idea.” Lucifer kicked more garbage, picked his nose and flicked a sticky glob of mucus the color of Christmas shit at the sack of babyshit. “Gay old Mr. Moneyballs decided to start laying people off and replacing them with goats shipped in illegally from shitting Nigeria.” He shook his head. “Fucking wetback goats. I told him he was a fuckass for doing it, and the greedy old crotch fucker fired me for it!”
    “Well, the economy has been shit for everyone
    lately.” The sack of babyshit burbled. “He probably had to cut costs to keep the factory open.”
    “Fuck you.” Lucifer elbowed the babyshit into traffic, waited for it to pick itself off the tires of a giant dick-shaped bus with an advert for Baby Jesus’ brand baglecunt ass sandwiches plastered on the side.
    “Look, I’m sorry man. That was a fucked up thing to do.”
    “No worries.” Said the sack of babyshit. “I had it coming.”
    “No shit.” Said the bus driver, then waved. “You fucks be careful, okay! Playing grab ass in the street with a sack of babyshit is about the most dangerous fucking thing any retarded gimp brained cuntblast could do.”
    “Ah, go fuck yourself up a wall, faggot dick.” Lucifer kicked more garbage. “Fuck this shit. I’m going home and eat some fucking cheese sandwiches.” He looked at the sack of babyshit. “You coming?”
    “Only when I’m fucking.” The babyshit grinned.
    “Yeah, sure. Lets go eat some fucking cheese sandwiches.”

CHAPTER 2: CHEESE FUCKING SANDWICHES
    “Oh my fucking god damn shit baby Jesus I love cheese fucking sandwiches.” Lucifer Niggerbastard said as he watched a football player shove a pencil up his ass. The announcer for the Fucking Asshole Gay network moaned the voiceover, screaming about fucking rabid geese with a stick and putting his nose in a shemale’s penishole. The sack of babyshit pressed itself against the remote, smeared greasy crap onto the buttons until the channel changed. A giant dick filled the screen, and then there was a toothless crackwhore yammering about how loose her stinky pussy was and how much like a honkey’s asscrack it smelled. The sack of babyshit changed the channel again and Lucifer threw his sandwich at the T.V.
    “Fuck this shit.” Niggerbastard said. “I need some fucking hard baby tampon milk.”
    “Ooh! Get me a fucking glass of that shit too!” Rumbled the sack of babyshit. “I heard that shit is so good for you it makes your nipples turn into dicks and baby uncles start fucking dropping out through your nose and shitting in your bellybutton!”
    “Fuck you, get