The Z Club by J.W. Bouchard Read Free Book Online

about zombies.  Tonight, specifically, we’re discussing the major differences between zombies in George Romero’s Dead films and Dan O’Bannon’s Living Dead series.”
    “It’s kind of like a messed up version of Ebert & Roeper if all they did was talk about zombie movies,” Rhonda said.
    Ryan saw that Becky was still confused.  “This is what I was talking about when I told you to lower your expectations.”
    Derek appeared eager, fidgeting with his sword cane and looking like he was anxious to say something.  “If you have to pee,” Rhonda said, “you can go behind a tree.”
    “It’s not that.  You guys haven’t mentioned the biggest difference of all,” Derek said.
    “Enlighten us,” Kevin said.
    “How to kill them.”  He looked around, noticeably pleased with himself, as if that simple statement had earned him a permanent place in the group.  “With Romero’s zombies, you have to destroy the brain.  In ROTLD , you had to incinerate them.”
    “But that’s a catch-22,” Kevin said.  “Don’t forget that burning them caused Trioxin-laced smoke, which brought that acid rain shit, which also brought the dead back to life.”
    “Okay.  Electrocution then.  That worked in ROTLD 2, and I’m not counting Necropolis or Rave to the Grave because those two sucked ass.”
    The others nodded in solemn agreement.  “Brought disgrace to the series,” Fred said.
    “Good job, Derek,” Rhonda said, socking him a soft one in the shoulder.
    Becky knew she was out of her depth, but found the discussion amusing.  “You guys are really knowledgeable about zombies.”
    “It’s very useful in everyday life,” Kevin said.
    “How so?” Becky asked.
    “He’s full of shit,” Fred said.
    “Says the douche who deals with shit for a living.”
    “Shit pays the bills.  What’s payin’ yours?”
    “Business is picking up,” Kevin said.
    Fred polished off his beer.  Now that Becky was feeling slightly tipsy, she realized that Fred reminded her of Jack Black if instead of doing movies he had spent the last decade living in an isolated cabin somewhere.
    “Now there’s a load of shit,” Fred said.
    “What happened with the movie you wanted to make?” Kevin asked Fred, knowing it was a sore point.  “What was it called?  Pizza Boy or something.”
    “ Pizza Delivery Man ,” Fred said.
    “Yeah, that was it.  I knew it was something really original like that.”
    Ryan turned to Becky and said, “Fred was going to be the next great filmmaker.  He had this idea about a homicidal pizza delivery guy that went around murdering people.”
    “Whatever happened to that?” Kevin said.
    “It never took off,” Fred said, embarrassed.  “I would have cut off my left hand to make that movie.”
    “At least you guys would know what to do,” Becky said, “if zombies ever attacked.”
    “Yeah,” Fred said.  “Get out of town.”
    “I’d stay and fight,” Derek said.
    Becky looked at Ryan and said, “And what would you do?”
    Ryan shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I don’t know if anybody really knows what they’d do until it came right down to it.  I guess I’d do whatever was necessary to survive.”  He couldn’t tell how Becky felt about that answer.  It might not have sounded heroic, but at least it was honest.  He checked his watch.  “It’s getting late.”
    “You’re gonna bail?” Fred asked.
    “It’s after midnight.  Shift starts in six hours.”
    “Goin’ soft.”
    “Maybe, but I know one thing: if zombies did attack, I’d be glad I got my beauty sleep the night before.”
    Ryan stood and helped Becky up.  Her legs felt stiff from the cold.  “It was nice meeting all of you,” she said.
    “Don’t be a stranger,” Kevin said.
    “Make her watch the films,” Fred said.  “So she can join in the fun next time.  Forewarned is forearmed.”
    “I’ll make sure he does,” Becky said.
    They said their goodbyes.  Ryan and Becky were halfway across