Zero Tolerance Meets the Alien Death Ray and Other (Mostly) Inappropriate Stories

Zero Tolerance Meets the Alien Death Ray and Other (Mostly) Inappropriate Stories by David Lubar Read Free Book Online

Book: Zero Tolerance Meets the Alien Death Ray and Other (Mostly) Inappropriate Stories by David Lubar Read Free Book Online
Authors: David Lubar
Tags: Humor, Horror, Short Stories
 
Big Otto's
Casino
    "Thanks, Mrs. Zambini," I said as my last
customer of the day paid me. Phew. I'd been mowing lawns all week
and I was beat. But now for the good part — spending the money.
    I stopped at my friend Mike's house on the
way into town. It's even more fun spending money when you bring
someone along. We headed for Video Kingdom. They had a great
selection of games, and the prices were pretty good.
    "Watcha gonna get?" Mike asked as we walked
into the store.
    "I think Destructo III," I said. "I heard it
has twice as much blood splatter as Destructo II."
    "Cool."
    And that's what I picked from the shelves
when we got to the store. It looked fabulous.
    Check this out," Mike said, grabbing a box
from the bottom shelf. "Big Otto's Casino. And it's only five
bucks."
    I shook my head. "At that price, it has to
stink."
    "I don't know," Mike said. "Remember Space
Masher? That was only eight bucks"
    "Yeah, and it was pretty good." I held my
hand out for the box. "Let me see."
    Mike passed the box to me. I checked the
screen shots on the back. The graphics actually looked pretty good.
And I had enough money for both games. "Sure," I said. "Why
not."
    So I bought both games and took them home.
We played Destructo III until Mike got tired of me ripping his arms
off — I was a lot better at it than he was.
    Then I put in Big Otto's Casino. The title
screen came up with a picture of Otto. He was a fat, ugly guy with
a cigar clamped in his mouth. "Welcome," he said in a raspy voice.
"Nice ta meetcha. C'mon in."
    The game started. I led my guy into the
casino and played a slot machine. Before I knew it, I'd lost the
hundred dollars I started with. But a screen popped up:
    Press START to borrow money
Press X to quit
    I pressed START and got another hundred dollars. It
didn't last much longer than the first. I tried blackjack, which I
sort of understood. And craps, which is what they call dice. I got
a kick out of the name, but I had no idea what I was doing.
    "Let me try," Mike said as the money screen
came up again.
    "In a minute." I wasn't ready to give up. I
knew I could win. My luck had to change sooner or later. This time,
I lost my money playing roulette and the poker machines.
    "Man," Mike said, shaking his head, "what's
the point?"
    "I don't know." Maybe he was right. This did
seem kind of pointless.
    "Game over." Mike reached for the power
switch.
    "Hold it," I said, grabbing his arm. "I want
to try just one more time." I got another hundred dollars. I did a
bit better this time. I still lost, but the money lasted
longer.
    "This is getting boring," Mike said. "Come
on, let's go outside."
    I shook my head. I'd been outside all week
mowing lawns. Summer was half over, and that was about all I'd
done. I was ready to take a break for the next month and just enjoy
myself. I had enough games to keep me happy for a while. "I'm going
to stick with it until I win," I said.
    "Give it up," Mike said.
    I shook my head. "Not yet. I can beat this
thing. I know I can. I just need to figure out the right
strategy."
    I kept playing. Sometime that evening, I
guess Mike left. I really can't remember when. But I was getting
better. Really. I lasted a lot longer before I had to borrow more
money. One time, I even won a couple hundred from a slot machine.
But then I blew it all again, trying to make up for everything I'd
lost earlier.
    I fell asleep for a while in front of the
game. When I woke up, I played some more. I was really getting
good. Even so, I was down to my last five dollars. I bet it at
roulette and lost.
    No big deal. I could borrow more and play
again.
    But the usual screen didn't come up.
Instead, I saw another message in flashing red letters. It just
said: CREDIT LIMIT REACHED.
    That couldn't be the end. I hit the X
button. The screen didn't change. I hit START. I didn't mind
starting over. Nothing happened. I tried all the buttons. Nothing.
I guess the game froze.
    As I reached to unplug the machine, the
doorbell

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