12bis Plum Lovin' by Janet Evanovich Read Free Book Online Page A

job done. I mean, I wouldn't mind doing it with him, but I might have to work my way up. He doesn't look like something a beginner would want to tackle. Which brings me to the real problem." Jeanine cracked her knuckles. "I'm a virgin."
     
    "Get out!"
     
    "I don't know how this happened. At first I was being careful. I didn't want to do it with just anyone, right? And then all of a sudden I was in my twenties, and it got embarrassing. I mean, how do you explain being twenty-five years old and never once finding a man who was good enough? And the older I got, the worse it became. It turns out virgins are only popular in high school and harems. No one wants to take responsibility for deflowering a thirty-five-year-old woman."
     
    "Jeez, who would have thought?"
     
    "Yeah, knock me over with a feather. I'm telling you, I've really been trying lately, but I can't get anyone to do it. And now, I've found a man I really like. He's funny and he's kind and he's affectionate. I really think this could turn into something. He might even be the love of my life. Problem is, I have to keep finding excuses not to invite him in… like, my cat is sick, or my mother is visiting, or there's a gas leak."
     
    "All because you can't tell him you're a virgin?"
     
    "Exactly. He'll run for the hills. They always do! God, I hate this stupid virginity. What a dumb idea, anyway. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to get rid of it?"
     
    "Maybe a doctor could help you."
     
    "I thought of that, but that's only part of it." She cracked her knuckles. "I don't know how to do it. I mean, I know where it goes and all, but I don't know the process. Like, do I just lay there? Or am I supposed to do something?"
     
    "Usually you do what feels good."
     
    "What if it doesn't feel good? I'm thirty-five. I'm old to be starting out. What if it was use it or lose it? I need some instruction. Nothing fancy. I'd be happy with the basics. For instance, am I supposed to moan?"
     
    "Men like it, but I find it distracting."
     
    Jeanine was gnawing on her bottom lip. "I don't think I can moan."
     
    "Are you sure you don't want to just talk this out with the guy you're dating?"
     
    "I'd rather stick a fork in my eye."
     
    "Okay, hang in there, and I'll figure something out."
     
    I left Jeanine and trotted back to Diesel.
     
    "You were in there long enough," Diesel said. "What's her big problem?"
     
    "She's a virgin."
     
    "No kidding?"
     
    "Turns out after a certain age it's not that easy to get rid of your virginity. She said men head for the hills when they find out she's a virgin. Don't want the responsibility of being the first."
     
    "I could see that," Diesel said.
     
    "She thought maybe Annie sent you to do the job."
     
    Diesel grinned. "I could take a crack at it."
     
    I raised an eyebrow.
     
    "What?" Diesel said.
     
    "Men."
     
    Diesel grinned wider and ruffled my hair, and I slapped his hand away.
     
    "Just trying to be helpful," Diesel said.
     
    "Jeanine has a boyfriend. She likes him a lot and doesn't want to lose him, but she's afraid he'll split when she tells him she's a virgin."
     
    "So don't tell him," Diesel said. "Let him figure it out for himself after the deed is done."
     
    "That's sort of sneaky."
     
    "You have a problem with sneaky?"
     
    "There's another issue. She feels like she's sort of dumb about the whole thing. Like at thirty-five she should have some technique behind her."
     
    "I imagine you could help her with that one," Diesel said.
     
    "I guess, but I'm not sure I'm all that expert."
     
    "I could test you out and let you know how you score," Diesel said, the grin back in place. "Rate you on a scale of one to ten."
     
    "Now there's an offer every girl dreams about."
     
    Diesel's phone rang, and he took the call.
     
    "Yeah," he said into the phone. "How bad is it?" He listened for a full minute, disconnected, cranked the car over and put it into gear.
     
    "Where are we going?"
     
    "We're going to look for