2 Digging Up Dirt
Chapter 1

    Looking in the mirror in her room at The Olive Branch Garden Center, Spaz combed her hair. The bottle of hair dye rested on the sink. "The bastard likes blondes so we'll give him a blonde," she said to her reflection. She'd already bleached her hair white. The blonde color would now look even and natural. Better than the black/purple/pink of her normal look.
    Someone banged on her door. Squeezing her eyes shut, she leaned on the sink. "Leave me alone!"
    "You're going to miss supper."
    She covered her eyes with her hand. "Go away, Bean, I'm not hungry."
    "They're waiting for you. Come on down, Spaz."
    "Get lost, Peckerwood. I'm busy!"
    "Fine. Be that way." She took the sound of footsteps pounding down the stairs as a good sign. She sighed.
    "Damn Bean, always sticking his nose in." She made a face in the mirror and in a singsong, nasally voice said, "Spaaaz come eat! Spaaaz, where ya goin'? Spaaaz, do this. Spaaaz, let me go with. Spaaaz, do that. Spaaaz, be my friend. Ahhhh! He makes me crazy!"
    She didn't consider Bean total pond scum, but it wasn't as if this was high school and he wanted to go to steady either. Hell, he was a kid and she'd been used up, a freak. Life had forced her to grow up at the age of twelve. "Yup, old Crack Ho Momma saw to that, didn't she, Freak?" Spaz slid the plastic gloves over her hands. She picked up the comb and parted her hair.
    Spaz and Bean were the same age but light years apart. He wanted to be friends. She was just trying to survive. She threw the comb in the sink. She felt dirty. She didn't want friends. She stared into the mirror. "I don't want friends. I don't want friends. I don't want friends."
    Hot tears burned her eyes. I do want friends! She slapped her hands on the edge of the sink. She squeezed her eyes shut. The words of her mother pounded in her head. Oh no! Not now! Near panic, she tried to remember Dr. Browning's words. Think positive thoughts. Breathe, two, three, four. It's not working! Breath, two, three – oh no, she's comin!
    The mirror wavered and she saw her mother, belt in hand. She heard herself as a child, begging then screaming. She could feel the leather slash her skin. The smell of booze on her mother's breath made her want to gag. She could smell the crack burning in the next room and the B.O. of the man her mother left there.
    "Ugly. Scumbag. Whore! Who was that girl? A friend? You don't want friends!" Slash went the belt. "You don't want friends!" Slash, again the belt. "You will not bring anyone to this house. You're worthless trash. They don't like you. They're just scum. They just want to see where the freak lives. You think you're some kind of princess?" Slash went the belt. "Ain't nobody gonna rescue you, Cinderella. You don't need friends. I got news for you--no more school either. You know all you'll ever need to know about lying on your back. Whore, get back to work, and dry those tears or I'll strip the meat off your bones!"
    The pounding on the door startled her. She'd huddled in a corner with her arms covering her head. Her breath came in hard, ragged gasps. Tears poured down her cheeks. Near panic, she stood and splashed water on her face. The pounding persisted. She screamed, "Leave me alone!"
    How did I end up in the corner? Panic threatened to overwhelm. She reached up, turned off the water, and looked wildly around the room. Her gaze froze and she looked at the object in her hand. Where did that come from? Slowly Spaz raised her right hand. The harsh light over the bathroom sink glinted off the razor blade she held in her hand. Ahhh, my friend. She stared at it and began to calm. Her breathing slowed. She smiled, a sly smile. She promised Dr Browning she wouldn't cut any more. She promised to call during a crisis. She lifted the blade and ran her tongue slowly along the side . Someone Help me! Please stop me…
    The blade moved to her thigh. She watched as it lay there. "Hide it. No one will know,"whispered an evil voice . She

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