A Baby on Her Christmas List by Louisa George Read Free Book Online Page A

Her jaw tightened.
    He’d meant that she shouldn’t be too sure that this early pregnancy would last the course, that she needed to wait before she spent money on things. Invested. But saying that would be crass. Distasteful. Working at the fertility clinic, she was well aware of all the pitfalls and rewards of pregnancy. And judging by the way her eyes glittered with any baby talk, she was very invested already.
    When she turned back to him her eyes were blazing. ‘You remember that first night in my house, Liam? When we sat on packing crates and talked all night about the plans I had for renovations?’
    ‘Of course I do.’
    ‘I’m still the same person. I still have that dream. It’s going to be a fabulous place. Then I will sell it and climb that property ladder, baby in tow. We’ll be zillionaires by the time I’ve finished. It just needs a bit of imagination, more time and a few willing hands.’
    There was a long pause in which he felt sure she was waiting for him to offer to help with the decorating.
    He’d returned from Pakistan planning on doing just that. But if he got involved in doing up her house that would mean more time spent with her and that was diametrically opposed to his plan. Which had been to ease himself out of her and her baby’s lives. Gently. Without her really noticing. Just longer absences that she could fill with her antenatal classes, nursery shopping, other pregnant friends
—
because she must have them. Everywhere he looked these days there were blossoming bellies and tiny squawking babies.
    But now, seeing her pregnant and the immediate emotions that instilled in him, his plan seemed like a crock full of madness.
    So all the more reason for him to get out quickly. He couldn’t be ruled by emotions, he never let that happen in his professional or his personal life. It was too dangerous to do otherwise.
    ‘Anyhoo...’ Her eyes were clouded now as she blinked away. She rooted in her bag and pulled out a folder of papers, clearly trying to keep her voice steady. Goddamn, everything he did hurt her. She cleared her throat. ‘Here’s your signed copy of the contract from the clinic. Helen was supposed to mail it to you, but I offered to bring it along here instead. As you saw, it’s pretty standard stuff. You get no claims, no guardianship or visitation rights, you’re not a legal parent, you have no parental rights....yada-yada. Just what you wanted.’
    ‘Oh. Okay. Great. Thanks.’ In black and white it seemed so cold-hearted. And yet it absolved him of everything. No responsibilities. He took it and shoved it in to his backpack. He didn’t need to reread it. He was signing every right to this child away.
    Truth was, his thoughts about this baby were so blurred now. He’d thought it would be easy to walk away. But...well, it wasn’t easy at all. He felt like he was giving his child the same fate he’d had
—
a life with little contact with his father. A life wanting something...guidance, truth, recognition. He couldn’t give his child that. He just couldn’t. But what could he give? What did he have left?
    Georgie peered up at him and everything he knew about her was in that guarded look in her eyes. She understood his pain, but was equally angry. She was putting her needs first. And she needed to, he didn’t blame her a jot for that. ‘That’s what you really want, isn’t it, Liam? You don’t want to help me get a nursery ready—that is clear. Or choose decor. Or talk about baby things. You don’t want me to be pregnant. You don’t want any of this...’
    ‘Look, Geo, that’s not it. I’m thrilled for you. I am. It’s what you want and you look so happy, how could I not be pleased for you? I thought this was what you wanted.’
    ‘Me too. But I don’t know how you can do it. The more I think about it, the more I don’t understand you. I’ve known all along that you cut yourself off from any kind of decent meaningful human connection...’ She twisted