A Christmas Promise by Mary Balogh Read Free Book Online

Falloden.”
    Her husband’s lips thinned for a moment, she noticed, before relaxing into an arctic smile as his eyes met hers across the length of the table. Sir Albert was on his feet too, repeating the toast and clinking glasses with her father.
    Even willpower should not have been enough to have brought Papa from his bed on that day, she thought, looking at him. But it had been. He had scarcely been out of his bed during the past week, and several times he had been delirious. His physician, whom she had summoned two afternoons before, even though he called regularly each morning, had declared that his hours were numbered, that he might go at any time. She had sat up with him for the last three nights, making sure that he had his medicine promptly, straightening his blankets, fluffing his pillows, watching to see that the fire did not burn too low, and snatching sleep in her chair and waking with a start of dread if the room seemed too quiet.
    She had begged him not even to try to get up that morning. But he had not only tried but also succeeded. And he had smiled all through the short wedding service and the wedding breakfast. She twisted her hands in her lap and watched him seat himself again and gasp for breath.
    “Papa,” she said, “you must go home. You must lie down.” But her words were stiff and her heart ached in secret. There were two strangers in the room—one of those strangers being her husband.
    “I think I will, Ellie,” he said, smiling at her in what looked more like a ghastly grimace than a smile.
    And fortunately the earl took the hint and got to his feet and sent a servant scurrying to summon her father’s carriage.
    She wanted to go with him. She
must
go with him. She must stay with him—there was so little time left. And he needed her. She was always the first person he had looked for during the past week on waking up. She had always been the light of his life. He had said it more times than she could remember since the death of her mother when she was five years old. He needed her now.
    But he had reminded her that morning that she was to be married, that from that day on she would owe loyalty and obedience to her husband rather than to him. And this was her wedding day and she was in her husband’s home. She did not feel close enough to him to ask a favor of him. If there had been an affection between them, if he had been Wilfred, she might have asked permission to return home with her father, wedding day or not. But he was not Wilfred and there was no affection between them.
    She could only hope that he would show some sensitivity to the situation and make the suggestion himself. She looked up at him when the two of them moved into the hall to see her father on his way, but she would not beg him, even with her eyes.
    “I shall bring your daughter tomorrow to see how you do, sir,” he said rather stiffly.
    “No hurry, no hurry,” her father said, chuckling. “If you two wish to lie abed until noon, I can wait, my lord.”
    She felt the earl stiffen at the suggestiveness of the words and willed herself not to flush.
    “Well,” her father said, opening his arms to her. “The Countess of Falloden, Ellie. Perhaps you are too grand a lady now to give your father a hug.”
    He was so very pleased. So very happy. So very much at the end of his strength. She stepped forward so that the earl would not see her face. But she dared not relax it anyway. Her chest and her throat were raw with the ache of her pain. She kissed him very lightly on the cheek and allowed him to set his arms about her. But she did not put hers about him.
    And suddenly that seemed the most cruel part of the whole situation. She wanted to wrap her arms about him and hug him and hug him. She wanted the memory of his aliveness within her arms to carry with her into the days ahead.
    “Don’t delay any longer, Papa,” she said, stepping back. “I shall see you tomorrow.”
    And she held her chin high and clasped her