A Friend from England by Anita Brookner Read Free Book Online Page B

wifeless Colonel, both of whom seemed to be committed to as rapid a marriage as possible. But perhaps they did everything quickly. That was the impression they gave.
    Michael and his father got on very well together, and there was indeed something affecting about them, if only because they were also slightly childish. They touched each other a great deal, which I thought was a good sign; men who are frightened of touching usually never learn to do it properly. They punched each other on the arm, or even clasped each other’s hands, and I could see that this was how they had been all through Michael’s motherless childhood, and that their closeness was surely a matter for congratulation. By this time, my initial impression had rather worn off, and I was in favour of this match, although I was a little surprised by it. I wondered how much Heather and her future husband had in common, for she was so quiet, so unexcitable, that I could not see how they were to get on. As far as I could judge, they were not wildly attracted to each other, for the frequent claspings of the hand that went on were between Michael and his father rather than between Michael and Heather. At the same time, Michael had a sort of sunniness about him which seemed to preclude any baffling depths of character: Ithought that was probably just as well, for Heather, despite her shrewdness, seemed to have very little curiosity and might not have much patience with a difficult or troublesome man. While I was watching them, and for obvious reasons I could hardly be included in much of the conversation, I saw that what Heather wanted from this faintly unlikely match was the sort of completeness she had always witnessed in her mother. She would glide from virginity to matronhood with no sense of a change in her condition: she would duplicate her mother, succeed her, and no doubt become the centre of the family circle in her own home, with the full approbation of that mother whom she planned so closely to copy. And why not? The curious thing about this almost sexless arrangement was that it would probably work, for unlike Dorrie and her sisters, who had full confidence in the arrangement, I did not fully trust this marriage as a true marriage. It was just that I somehow felt that each needed the other for private purposes.
    Heather, I could see, was already fitting herself for the marital role. As she sat there, motionless and smiling in the midst of this agitated assembly, she looked like the bride in a Breughel painting, as if she were already at her own wedding breakfast. She seemed to have no doubts, any more than Michael did, and this, in view of the rapidity and secrecy of their courtship, seemed surprising. It was her expression that finally convinced us all. Her smile was not luminous or excited, as might have been expected, but replete, turned inwards, almost bored with the ceremony going on around her. When she saw me, she lifted an eyebrow and nodded in my direction, without any sort of alteration in the smile. I came forward then, and kissed Dorrie, who said, ‘Oh, Rachel, isn’t this exciting? Sit down, dear. We’ll have some tea in a moment.’ Everything was out of order. I was introduced to Michael and the Colonel as ‘Heather’sbest friend’, which I thought a bit of an exaggeration, but as usual I succumbed to the atmosphere, and smiled and nodded myself as if nothing were amiss. Michael wrung my hand and said, ‘I know how fond of you Heather is,’ which also surprised me, since I didn’t see how Heather would ever have referred to me in this way. Then I realized that he would have said this to anyone who purported to be Heather’s friend, even if he had never heard of her until this moment. I responded in kind, of course, partly out of goodwill and appreciation for his efforts, and partly because I so much liked being part of the scene, and the idea of being Heather’s best friend seemed to guarantee my inclusion in any future