A Matter of Oaths by Helen S. Wright Read Free Book Online

myself against
the walls inside my head. ” He flung
the glass against the wall beyond Joshim. It bounced off and rolled across the
floor. “ And there isn ’ t anybody to blame except myself, and I ’ m never going to know why I was stupid
enough to break my Oath! ”
    He stopped and laughed self-consciously. “ And I ache, ” he admitted. “ I feel as
if somebody knocked me down and walked all over me. ” He put his head on one side and looked at the out-of-focus
Webmaster. “ You didn ’ t come here to listen to me whining, or
to watch me drinking. ”
    “ No. I came to
offer you a berth as Bhattya’ s First. ”
    Rafe swore incredulously, inadequately expressing the
sickness in the pit of his stomach. “ My
luck could be used as a metric for consistency, ” he muttered, stumbling to his feet to retrieve the glass. “ You wouldn ’ t like to go away and pretend you haven ’ t seen me like this? ”
    “ No. ”
    “ I didn ’ t think so. ” Rafe froze as his web twinged warning of an imminent spasm. “ You could at least look the other way
while I throw up, ” he said carefully.
    “ If I do that, you ’ ll never reach the san. ”
    Rafe found himself supported to the san, and after his
stomach had rejected the alcohol with which he had flooded it, to the bed. He
rolled onto his side, away from Joshim ’ s
efforts to remove his boots.
    “ Go away, ” he urged. “ Take the bottle with you if it makes you happy, just go. ”
    Joshim finished removing his boots. “ I ’ m going to fetch
something to sober you up, ” he said. “ Your web is in no shape to cope with
what you ’ re doing to it. ”
    “ Why bother? It
isn ’ t your responsibility. ” Rafe turned miserably onto his
stomach.
    “ We ’ ll talk about that when you ’ re sober. ”

     
    “ Hell, you are
going to sober me up, ” Rafe said in
disbelief, seeing the drug-pack with which Joshim returned.
    “ Yes. ” Joshim set the pack down on the table
and came to look at Rafe where he was curled up in the san. “ Sick again? ”
    “ It seemed a good
idea to stay here. Saves me having to clean up after myself later. ”
    “ That may be the
first sensible thought you ’ ve had all
evening. Think you can get to the bed? With help, of course. I ’ m not going to treat you in there. ”
    Once Rafe was safely on the bed, Joshim opened the pack and
took out a drug-mask and canister. “ Deep
breaths, ” he said, sitting beside
Rafe on the bed and slipping the mask over his face.
    Rafe obeyed, uncomfortably aware by now that the strictures
about alcohol and web-cramp were fully justified. Joshim strapped a blood
monitor to his arm; he flinched as the probe bit.
    “ Finish the
canister, ” Joshim said, studying the
readout. “ There ’ s still enough alcohol in your system to knock out half a
web-room. Emperors only know how you stayed on your feet so long. ”
    “ Near-human blood, ” Rafe informed him through the mask. “ Inconvenient when I ’ m trying to drink myself senseless. ”
    “ Shut up and
breathe, ” Joshim told him.
    Rafe closed his eyes and concentrated on pulling the drug
into his lungs. As the alcohol was neutralized, it left behind an emotional
numbness that he welcomed. Anything rather than think about the chance he had
thrown away tonight.
    “ Enough, ” Joshim decided at last, lifting the
mask off Rafe ’ s face.
    “ Thank you, sir. ” Rafe sat up and hugged his knees. “ That was good of you. ”
    “ It was also the
one and only time I will do that for you, ” Joshim said grimly. “ The next time
you try to kill yourself with a bottle of jack, I ’ ll leave you to it. ”
    “ I wasn ’ t trying to kill myself, ” Rafe said flatly. “ I can ’ t. That ’ s part of the conditioning that goes
with identity-wipe. There isn ’ t any
way I can voluntarily deprive the Guild of my services. I have to wait to be
thrown out. ” He shivered and started