A Matter of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 1) by Ichabod Temperance Read Free Book Online

the ‘Revelatory Comet’s’ passing as any other, if not more so. I possess a fantastic navigational sensibility, and though new to the city my innate abilities help us gain the assistance we seek. Perhaps I have just the tiniest fragment of magnetized iron in my nose, for my belief is that it grants me an uncanny sense of direction. Miss Plumtartt and I soon find ourselves in a neighbourhood of Apothycists, Chemysts, and Doctors of Alchemycal bent.
    A tangle of chimneys betrays the location of many individual furnaces of differing fumes. I find a union hall of sorts here, its sulphorous vapors filling the air. This appears to be a rather dirty place of production and I do not want Miss Plumtartt to soil her fine clothes and be subject to the strong scents of industrial enterprise.
    “Excuse me, Miss Plumtartt?” I ask of the beautiful young aristocrat, “I'd feel better if you did not leave the carriage, Ma'am. I’m gonna see if these fellas can be of any help to us. I shouldn’t be too long.”
    “I am not the delicate flower you seem to think I am, Mr Temperance,” she answers with a casual acceptance, “but if it will make you feel better, I acquiesce to your request.”
    Going down a flight of brick stairs, I enter to find a low-ceilinged, but far stretching, room lined with tables, laden with complicated chemycal apparatti and populated by men of studious intent.4
    Foul odors arise from both the workbenches and the workmen.
    “Howdy, y’all. I hate to interrupt you boys, but I was wondering if you all couldn’t help me out with a little problem?”
    “This is a union hall, you silly American tourist. Queen Victoria is in the next house down.”
    “You need to vacate these premises and go feed the pigeons in Piccadilly, squirt.”
    “You’re trespassing laddie. Get to stepping.”
    “Gee whiz, guys, I just wanted a little help.”
    “You’re gonna get it, too.”
    “Eh hem, I say, are you receiving the assistance you require, Mr. Temperance?”
    “Wot? This ugly little git is with you, Miss?”
    “Eh hem, if you are referencing my esteemed colleague as the aforementioned, ‘ugly little git’, then yes, he is indeed, with me.”
    “We didn’t realize there was a Lady involved.”
    “There is, and her name is Plumtartt.”
    “Miss Persephone Plumtartt! Wot can we do to assist you, Madame?”
    “Mr. Temperance?”
    “Miss Plumtartt was attacked by an invisible monster what couldn’t be stuck by steel. I popped one of his legs off and stabbed him to death with his own foot. He started to melt away so I saved some of the monster goo in this here champagne bottle. I was hoping to learn more of our enemy from it, or even better, to craft a weapon.”
    “We’ll need a few drops to examine. As the agent is reputed to be quick to evaporate, let us exercise speed and caution in opening the bottle.”
    “Keep the samples sealed!”
    “Do not expose it to light!”
    “It glows with its own, phosphorescent light!”
    “Is it alive?”
    “Chill it!” “Heat it!” “Put it under extreme pressure!” “Stick it in a vacuum!”
    Prr-gizzck! Poof.
    “Oh, Georgy, wot have you done?”
    “I thought it would be a good idea to hit it with a nice jolt of electricity.”
    “You silly old fool, you have exploded your sample!”
    “Blast you, Georgy!”
    “I’m sorry!”
    “Hey, be careful, Terrence, you’re being careless with that marginalized solvent! You spilled some on my sample! I was trying to fibrillate its Terrarium levels to ascertain compatibility with the Corbomite figuration. The results are horribly compromised!”
    “Oopsie! Sorry, Gherry!”
    “My little drop of ecto-morpho-monster goop is now as hard as rock candy! You ruined it!”
    “I didn’t mean to!”
    “Look what you’ve done, Terrence, this little drop will not bend, chip, nor break. What am I supposed to do with this?”
    “Hang on, y’all, I think we might be onto something...”

Chapter 16 –