A Safe Harbour by Benita Brown Read Free Book Online

vividly with the bright green sward, gave off the loamy smell of damp earth and Kate felt herself reeling when she glimpsed the writhing bodies of worms amongst the protruding grass roots.  
    No one spoke. The only sounds were the dull pounding of the rain on the turf and the crash of the waves on the rocks below the headland. The strong clear voice of the Reverend James Wheeler came almost as a shock. ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,’ he intoned as Jos’s coffin was lowered into the ground.  
    Overcome with horror, Kate let his words fade into the background of her consciousness. She reached into the pocket in her skirt and closed her fingers tightly round the wedding ring that Matthew had given to her that morning, as soon as they had left the Lawsons’ cottage. ‘My brother would want you to have it,’ he’d said.  
    The sound of the heavy earth hitting the coffin was like a blow to her stomach and she felt a hot surge of nausea rise to her throat. Fighting to swallow the bile, she backed away from the graveside, where the proceedings seemed to become more and more unreal.  
    She saw one or two faces turn and stare at her but, fortunately, they left her alone. If any kind soul had tried to comfort her she might have broken down and told them that not only was she grieving for Jos and the happy future his foolish action had stolen from her, but she was angry with him too, and fearful. Fearful because he had left her to face the consequences of their loving alone.  
     
    The doors of the mission hall were open but Kate, who had avoided her mother’s attempts to gather her into the family fold and walked back alone, was reluctant to enter. She did not want to mingle and talk with the mourners because she was acutely aware of her place – or rather lack of it. A sweetheart but not a bride. She was not part of the Linton family and now never would be, yet she had already distanced herself sufficiently from her own family to realize that she would always feel out of place with them.  
    Mrs Linton had organized the funeral tea along with Kate’s own Aunt Meg, who had stepped in to help the widowed George Lisle. Margaret Lawson, her father’s elder sister, had never married and often helped out at funerals, weddings and baptisms. Kate had always been fond of her aunt and her kindly presence was reassuring. Eventually Aunt Meg saw Kate hovering in the doorway and came to get her.  
    ‘I could do with a hand,’ she said gently.  
    ‘But—’  
    ‘Mary Linton’s useless with grief. I’ve telt her to sit down with her man.’  
    ‘Of course.’  
    Kate was aware of pitying looks as she followed her aunt through the hall past the long trestle tables laden with food. Once in the small kitchen she was glad to busy herself with washing and drying dishes, only half concentrating on anything her aunt said until the moment Meg took hold of her arm and said, ‘Kate, I asked you to take those sandwiches in a good ten minutes ago.’  
    ‘Oh . . .’ Kate turned from the sink and frowned. ‘Sandwiches?’  
    ‘Yes. That plate there.’ The older woman nodded towards the table where a meat server was piled high with ham and pease-pudding sandwiches. ‘You can take them round, show yourself, and then, if there’s any left, put the plate on the table.’  
    ‘But—’  
    ‘You’ve hidden away in here long enough, pet. You have to show your respect. I know it will be hard. Just this once, then you can come back here.’  
    ‘Please, Aunt Meg, don’t make me.’  
    Her aunt sighed and shook her head. ‘I know how you must feel, lass; as if no one could ever understand what you’re going through. But I do.’  
    ‘Do you?’  
    ‘Why shouldn’t I? I’m no stranger to grief, you know. Why do you think I never married?’  
    ‘I . . .’ Kate stared at her aunt, disconcerted and momentarily shaken out of her self-pitying mood.  
    ‘I didn’t always look like this, you know. I was once as bonny